#1 humor site on the 'net

Dog Days of Summer

Cooling off on a bed of ice

Dog Days of Summer thanks to Barry McCartney

QuotaBills
Dogmatic: Run by canine power. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Are my hot flashes causing Global Warming? - Unknown

I'm still hot - it just comes in flashes. - Unknown

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Wok The Dog: Specialty at Vietnamese Restaurants - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What happens in the hot tub stays in the hot tub. - Aussie Swimmer

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Oh, that sound? I'm in the hot tub, reading a novel. - Jane Smiley

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never feel so much myself as when I'm in a hot bath. - Sylvia Plath

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Canada has never been a melting pot; more like a tossed salad. - Arnold Edinborough

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Amazing women don't have hot flashes. We have power surges. - Unknown

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

Where beams of imagination play,
The memory's soft figures melt away. - Alexander Pope

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

When it gets hot like this, you know what I do? I keep my undies in the ice box. - Marilyn Monroe

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

I can see you in the kitchen bending over a hot stove, and I can't see the stove. - Groucho Marx

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I just want a hot cup of coffee, black, and I don't want to hear about your troubles. - Charles Bukowski

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

There must be quite a few things a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them. - Sylvia Plath

Yet, taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe. - Homer

He is not an honest man who has burned his tongue and does not tell the company that the soup is hot. - Yugoslav Proverb

Thursday: 1. What you get when crossing the desert; 2. How you feel crossing the desert on a hot day. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Begin doing what you want to do now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake. - Marie Ray

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain


I Like Cooking

Balanced Meal

Acoustic Hearing Aids

Redneck Advent Calendar

Programmer Logic

Lego Haircut

Lettuce Face

Hammock Wine

Catch Anything Lately?

Dead Batteries

Frozen Fish

How Do You Spell L-U-C-K-Y?

Stretch Line - Down To The Wire

Milkshake Diet

Bicycle Logging

Texas 4 Months Apart

Flat Tire Repair

Double Error Message

Redneck Candle

Tenacity

Better Call Saul

Hair Notes

Gold Silk Fabric

Orthodox Weapon