Doughnut Monster Truck

Abstain from beans. - Pythagoras

Donut know. Donut care. - Unknown

I love you more than donuts. - Unknown

I'm not much of a cake person. - Daniel Radcliffe

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. - Ernestine Ulmer

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Before eating, always take a little time to thank the food. - Arapaho Proverb

Snackcident - whenever you accidentally eat all the donuts. - Unknown

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. - Jane Austen

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much. - George Harrison

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. - Bob Hope

Fresh popcorn is near impossible to resist, second only to fresh doughnuts. - Shannon Wiersbitzky

Always give them the old fire, even when you feel like a squashed cake of ice. - Ethel Merman

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie? - Lisa Loeb

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.' - Jerry Seinfeld

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." - Unknown

It's a piece of cake until you get to the top. You find you can't stop playing the game the way you've always played it. - Richard M Nixon

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller