Dr. OMG

I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

A canter is the cure for all evil. - Benjamin Disraeli

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

Psychoanalysis is the disease it claims to cure. - Karl Kraus

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

Life without liberty is like a body without spirit. - Khalil Gibran

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

The only parts left of my original body are my elbows. - Phyllis Diller

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

Surgeon: The person who was a cut-up at medical school - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Steven Wright

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

Never ever lose your head. Its the best part of your body. - Art Rooney

Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish. - Kin Hubbard

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Markus Herz

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

Stories are memory aids, instruction manuals and moral compasses. - Aleks Krotoski

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

My doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled. - Red Skelton

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Impotience: Eager anticipation by men awaiting their Viagra prescription - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense. - Beau M

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake. - Jonathan Blake

Age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. - Unknown

I recently became a Christian Scientist. It was the only health plan I could afford. - Betsy Salkind

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. - Caryn Leschen

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright

Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

If you would perfect your body, guard your mind.
If you would renew your body, beautify your mind. - James Allen

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear. - Daniel Defoe

I was diagnosed with diabetes at age 18. I didn't know what it was, so I went to the library and looked it up. - Ron Santo

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

I chalk up the fact that I got diabetes to my body saying, 'Dude, you have been doing wrong for way too long!' - Randy Jackson

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. - George Carlin

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

We are, as a species, addicted to story. Even when the body goes to sleep, the mind stays up all night, telling itself stories. - John Gottschall

A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body - let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. - Unknown

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

There is a great difference between mind and body insomuch as body is by nature always divisible, and the mind is entirely indivisible. - Rene Descartes

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

I'm going to make people happy. I'm going to make them forget about their cancer. I'm going to make them forget about their diabetes. - Dick Dale

Nurse: 1. A woman whose business is to make sickness a pleasure; 2. A young women who holds your wrist and then expects your pulse to be normal. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com