#1 humor site on the 'net

Dr. OMG

Choosing your family Doctor

Dr. OMG thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The first wealth is health. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The cure for grief is motion. - Elbert Hubbard

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Maternity Hospital: An heirport - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

I could eat my body weight in sushi. - Mikey Way

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

The human body is the best work of art. - Jess C. Scott

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

For a desperate disease, a desperate cure. - Latin Proverb

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

Be strong in body, clean in mind, lofty in ideals. - James Naismith

Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food. - Hippocrates

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Dancing: The Highest Intelligence in the Freest Body. - Isadora Duncan

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I have friends struggling with autism, juvenile diabetes. - Nicole A. Parker

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Zeal: A nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. - Ambrose Bierce

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. - Jim Rohn

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

Food for the body is not enough. There must be food for the soul. - Dorothy Day

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

There is nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure. - Jack E Leonard

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Never let success get to your head. Never let failure get to your health. - Unknown

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

The colder the X-Ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it. - Steven Wright

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. - B.K. Iyengar

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

My favorite thing about the human body is that we're all basically doughnuts. - Tyler Oakley

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

One day my mortal body will turn to dust, but the Turkish Republic will stand forever. - Mustafa Kemel Ataturk

It is not the body's posture, but the heart's attitude that counts when we pray. - Billy Graham

The cure for a broken heart is simple, my lady. A hot bath and a good night's sleep. - Margaret George

The patient does not care about your science; what he wants to know is, can you cure him? - Martin H. Fischer

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein: it rejects it. - P.B. Medawar

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

The most important pieces of equipment you need for doing yoga are your body and your mind. - Rodney Yee

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Steven Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

My mother had this amazing attitude in the face of everything, including when she got cancer. - Bill Clinton

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records. - Unknown

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

I don't know why they call it heartbreak. It feels like every part of my body is broken too. - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

Diabetes occurs at twice the rate in the African American community as it does in white Americans. - Xavier Becerra

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone. - Robert Frost

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. - Thomas Paine

I blinked and I cured my brain. That's how. Everybody has the power. Can't is the cancer of happen. - Charlie Sheen

Even if you don't have time for a big workout, stretching in the morning and night really changes your body. - Erin Heatherton

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

Health is your greatest wealth, so experiencing a marathon and seeing what you're capable of is really special. - Christy Turlington

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

It's a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. - Dave Barry

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

'Psychotherapy' is a private, confidential conversation that has nothing to do with illness, medicine, or healing. - Thomas Szasz

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Trying to manage diabetes is hard because if you don't, there are consequences you'll have to deal with later in life. - Bryan Adams

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all - the apathy of human beings. - Helen Keller

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do. - George S Patton

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


Fishing With Moses

Robot Hood

New Nail Gun

Breakthrough - Second Wind

Burma Road Cycling

Water Waste Basket

My Daughter and My Money

Executive Decision Time

Animal Rings

Cow Return

Biggest Fan On The Block

Senior's TV Tray

Potty 'Train'ing In India

A Woman Named Five Horses

Vegan Dentist

How To Conserve Gas

Rolling Shoes

How Twins Are Made

Cool Reading Room

Poor Lifetime

Be GarFul

Tooth Ferry

Ready For Rabbits

Ecosystem