#1 humor site on the 'net

Ear Chip

Her hearing's a byte better these days

Ear Chip thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Japanese Diamond Earrings

QuotaBills
Love is the only gold. - Alfred Tennyson

Speak silver, reply gold. - Swahili Proverb

The law itself follows gold. - Propertius

Diamonds are the tears of the poor. - Helen McCloy

Speech is silver; silence is golden. - Thomas Carlyle

Wisdom is better than gold or silver. - German Proverb

Diamonds are forever, my youth is not. - Jill St John

Diamonds are a girl's best friend. - Leo Robin

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver. - Unknown

Some people value sentiments over diamonds. - Cassandra Clare

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

The just man may sin with an open chest of gold before him. - Italian Proverb

Adversity is the diamond dust Heaven polishes its jewels with. - Thomas Carlyle

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles. - Thomas Browne

Every tooth in a man's head is more valuable than a diamond. - Miguel de Cervantes

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - Mark Twain

The more you get past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. - Jodi Picoult

He can't help it - he was born with a silver foot in his mouth. - George HW Bush

Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough. - Mary McLeod Bethune

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Warm Water Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The true alchemists do not change lead into gold; they change the world into words. - William H Gass

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. - Democritus

If more of us cared about food and home above gold, this world would be a merrier place. - Bilbo Baggins

Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust. - John Webster

I do not think there is any silver bullet to solving the technology side of the security equation. - John W. Thompson

The biggest battle is never on the field, the fairway, the diamond or rink: it's in your mind. - Carey Neuhoff

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

All is beautiful and unceasing, all is music and reason, and all, like diamond, is carbon first, then light. - Jose Martin

The fire of the diamond of true identity is always there; it just needs the Master's crafting to reveal it. - Kenneth G Mills

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

The more the diamond is cut the brighter it sparkles; and in what seems hard dealing, there God has no end in view but to perfect His people. - Thomas Guthrie

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you. - Richard Harris


Child's Motorcycle Helmet

Montana Mountain Bike

Sealtastic

Bland Entrance

Cruising Advice

Cat Dugout

Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox