#1 humor site on the 'net

ElectriCandle

Making light of your backup power supply

ElectriCandle thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Tarnished Lady: One that is not bright - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anger blows out the candle of the mind. - Robert G Ingersoll

What is to give light must endure burning. - Viktor Frankl

Luminary: One who throws light upon a subject - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It is easy to be heavy; it is hard to be light. - G K Chesterton

A true star shines her light on others. Be a star. - Chloe Pink

You're not too smart, are you? I like that in a man. - Kathleen Turner

It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

You can't be a smart cookie if you have a crumbly attitude. - Unknown

Ceremony: The invention of wise men to keep fools at a distance - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

She may very well pass for 43 in the dusk with the light behind her! - W S Gilbert

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Unknown

It is not that I'm so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer. - Albert Einstein

That's an amazing invention, but who would ever want to use one of them? - Rutherford B. Hayes

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. - Unknown

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world. - William Shakespeare

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

We proclaim the resurrection of Christ when his light illuminates the dark moments of our existence. - Pope Francis

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

It makes you wonder. All the brilliant things we might have done with our lives if only we suspected we knew how. - Ann Patchett

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

Telephone: An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. - Ambrose Bierce

Remembering that each of us will take our turns in darkness and in light, let us be light for one another when the darkness falls. - Unknown

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

Human beings will line up for miles to buy a bucket of catastrophes, but don't try selling sunshine and light; you'll go broke. - Chuck Jones

You are a divine being. You matter, you count. You come from realms of unimaginable power and light, and you will return to those realms. - Terence McKenna

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind. - Johnny Knoxville

Fantasy has a dark side to it. It also has a light hemisphere - the power of the human imagination to keep going, to imagine a better tomorrow. - Tim O'Brien

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. - Buddha


Public Transportation In Scotland

Guarded Nights

Financial Meltdown

Fox Kabob

Microwaved Bulb... Watts You Won't See

Saks-e Parking Job

Griller Bees

Texting While Cycling

Redneck Manicure

Police Profiling In Canada

Tree Stand

No Worries

Hospital Gown Insurance

Facebook Red Light

Redneck Speed Bump

Scientific Driving Test

House 'Broke'rage

Trampoline Apartment

Behind Every Man

SailBite Ride - Swimming Not Advised

Aisle Cleanup

His Dent

Car Surgeon

Slamming On Your Brakes