#1 humor site on the 'net

Employee Happiness Kit

Cheap management solution to cope with work overload

IMPORTANCE NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company approved supplies will be provided to each employee at no cost. Workload getting to you? Feeling stressed? Too many priorities and assignments? Here is the new company approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!
Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 1: Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 2: Assemble items as shown

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 3: Apply as shown

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!
The Management Team

QuotaBills
Happiness means quiet nerves. - WC Fields

Work to ride and ride to work. - Unknown

X: The signature of a happy man - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never work. Work does age you so. - Quentin Crisp

Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde

Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds. - Gordon Hinckley

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. - Steven Wright

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now. - Steven Wright

I might not be famous one day. But I'd still be happy. - Salma Hayek

They are happy men whose natures sort with their vocations. - Francis Bacon

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. - Ernest Hemingway

When what we are is what we want to be, that's happiness. - Malcolm Forbes

There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. - Vicki Baum

Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love. - David McCullough

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun, and fun is a lot more work. - Milton Berle

Great effort from great motives is the best definition of a happy life. - William Ellery Channing

The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose. - Unknown

Whoever said money can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop. - Gertrude Stein

If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. - Edith Wharton

Happiness is largely an attitude of mind, of viewing life from the right angle. - Dale Carnegie

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. - Benjamin Disraeli

The secret of happiness is not doing what one likes, but liking what one has to do. - James M. Burrie

If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy. - Jay Leno

When you work the buttons here, see, it develops what ya call the digitalis skills. - Archie Bunker

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. - Democritus

I measure my own success as a leader by how well the people who work for me succeed. - Maria Shi

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. - Ellen Degeneres

People who live in difficult circumstances need to know that happy endings are possible. - Sonia Sotomayor

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. - Robert A Heinlein

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Edison

Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. - R.E. Shay

Making better choices takes work. There is a daily give and take, but it is worth the effort. - Tom Rath

The greatest happiness you can have is knowing that you do not necessarily require happiness. - William Saroyan

The romantic idealism of my youth has been replaced with realism and hard work at what I love. - Monique Roffey

Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did. - Newt Gingrich

I have been very happy, very rich, very beautiful, much adulated, very famous, and very unhappy. - Brigitte Bardot

Happiness is not the means to any end. It is the end. It is its own goal. It is its own purpose. - Ayn Rand

To be thankful is the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. - G K Chesterton

It's the moments that I stopped just to be, rather than do, that have given me true happiness. - Richard Branson

Happiness is a Swedish sunset - it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it. - Mark Twain

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

Respect yourself to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. - Unknown

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

Happiness comes only when we push our brains and hearts to the farthest reaches of which we are capable. - Leo Rosten

Decide what you want, what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. - HL Hunt

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying. - Woody Allen

Happy the man who has broken the chains which hurt the mind, and has given up worrying, once and for all. - Ovid

How do you nurture a positive attitude when all the statistics say you're a dead man? You go to work. - Patrick Swayze

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. - Marcel Proust

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

Initiative is key. Anybody who wants to be somebody is going to work as hard as they can to fulfill that dream. - Unknown

Take your work, but never yourself, seriously. Pour in the love and whatever skill you have, and it will come out. - Chuck Jones

Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities. - Aldous Huxley

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. - Anna Quindlen

Happiness is excitement that has found a settling down place. But there is always a little corner that keeps flapping around. - E.L. Konigsburg

Success depends in a very large measure upon individual initiative and exertion, and cannot be achieved except by a dint of hard work. - Anna Pavlova

Happiness is as a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but which if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Despite all our gains in technology, product innovation and world markets, most people are not thriving in the organizations they work for. - Stephen Covey

No theory is good unless it permits, not rest, but the greatest work. No theory is good except on condition that one use it to go on beyond. - Andre Gide

Give your subconscious a chance to work by turning your brain off from time to time. Don't focus on work or solving problems constantly. - Harvey Mackay

Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is; noise to appreciate silence; and absence to value presence. - Unknown

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. - Norman Vincent Peale

Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do. - Pele

I work as if I were going to be the next person to need a respirator. I share in the benefits I bestow on others, and my work has enriched my life. - Forrest Bird


Idling Eric Idle

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

High Heel Diver

Rising To The Occasion

Annual Meeting of the Ontario Summer Tires Club

I See You

Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast