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Employee Happiness Kit

Cheap management solution to cope with work overload

IMPORTANCE NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company approved supplies will be provided to each employee at no cost. Workload getting to you? Feeling stressed? Too many priorities and assignments? Here is the new company approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!
Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 1: Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 2: Assemble items as shown

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 3: Apply as shown

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!
The Management Team

QuotaBills
Many hands make light work. - English Proverb

Happy Hauntings; and, pleasant dreams! - Peter James

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Let us uncork all our bottled up happiness. - Pablo Neruda

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. - Rita Mae Brown

My grandmother made dying her life's work. - Hugh Leonard

Have thy tools ready. God will find thee work. - Charles Kingsley

There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness. - Lady Marguerite Blessington

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Happiness is distraction from the human tragedy. - J M Reinoso

Live your life, do your work, then take your hat. - Henry David Thoreau

The best way to make children is to make them happy. - Oscar Wilde

Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. - Leo Rosten

You do your best work if you do a job that makes you happy. - Bob Ross

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

To love and to be loved is the greatest happiness of existence. - Sydney Smith

Ideas are funny little things. They won't work unless you do. - Unknown

Talent is no match for hard work, determination, and perseverance. - Unknown

A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her. - Oscar Wilde

There is no prejudice that the work of art does not finally overcome. - Andre Gide

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today. - Elbert Hubbard

Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. - Christopher Morley

The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. - Arnold J Toynbee

Government of the people, by the people, and for the pursuit of happiness. - Archie Bunker

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. - John Barrymore

If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things. - Albert Einstein

Being sad with the right people is better than being happy with the wrong ones. - Philippos

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Work as if you were to live a hundred years. Pray as if you were to die tomorrow. - Benjamin Franklin

I really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. - Ellen Degeneres

Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true. - Leon J. Suenes

Life, in all ranks and situations, is an outward occupation, an actual and active work. - W. Humboldt

Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big. Wear glasses if you need 'em. - Webb Wilder

I'm no miracle worker. I'm just a guy who rolls up his sleeve and goes to work. - Don Shula

Work for the Lord. The pay isn't much, but the retirement plan is out of this world. - Unknown

My favorite puzzle is trying to work out the parts myself, after all it is a solo effort. - Adrian Belew

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Edison

If you don't get what you want and you are still happy - that's spiritual maturity. - Unknown

Happiness, after all, is an inner state of mind. It is little dependent on outside environment. - Jawaharlal Nehru

To be thankful is the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. - G K Chesterton

The person who seeks all their applause from outside has their happiness in another's keeping. - Dale Carnegie

The secret of being happy is accepting where you are in life and making the most out of every day. - Unknown

Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations. - Earl Nightingale

They shared the chores of living as some couples do - she did most of the work and he appreciated it. - Paula Gosling

A lot of what passes for depression these days is nothing more than a body saying that it needs work. - Geoffrey Norman

Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work. - Thomas Edison

He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears but by diligent hard work, he overcame them. - James Reston

I shall take the heart, for brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world. - Tin Man

Man needs, for his happiness, not only the enjoyment of this or that, but hope and enterprise and change. - Bertrand Russell

How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now, and there will never be a time when it is not now. - Gerald Jampolsky

All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love. - Baruch Spinoza

Every person I work with knows something better than me. My job is to listen long enough to find it and use it. - Jack Nichols

Take your work, but never yourself, seriously. Pour in the love and whatever skill you have, and it will come out. - Chuck Jones

You know it's love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you're not part of their happiness. - Julia Roberts

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

To know how to grow old is the master work of wisdom, and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living. - Frederic Amiel

There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. - Alexandre Dumas

If you want small changes in your life, work on your attitude. But if you want big and primary changes, work on your paradigm. - Stephen Covey

I'd rather work with someone who's good at their job but doesn't like me, than someone who likes me but is a ninny. - Sam Donaldson

The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves. - Victor Hugo

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Determine what motivates you and you can find your path to love, happiness and influence and that which you seek to make your life complete. - Louis Howard

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you lived at all. - Leo Rosten


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