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Employee Happiness Kit

Cheap management solution to cope with work overload

IMPORTANCE NOTICE TO ALL EMPLOYEES All personnel will now be required to look happy while working. Company approved supplies will be provided to each employee at no cost. Workload getting to you? Feeling stressed? Too many priorities and assignments? Here is the new company approved solution to cope with multiple priorities and assignments!
Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 1: Each employee will be supplied 2 paper clips and rubber bands

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 2: Assemble items as shown

Employee Happiness Kit thanks to Barry McCartney

Fig. 3: Apply as shown

Enjoy your day. This new office equipment will help you to reach the end of a productive work day with a smile on your face!
The Management Team

QuotaBills
It is awfully hard work doing nothing. - Oscar Wilde

America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. - John Updike

You're the blacksmith of your own happiness. - Swedish Proverb

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. - Henry J Kaiser

If you're willing to work, others will let you. - Unknown

Alimony: the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. - H L Mencken

The only way to do great work is to love what you do. - Steve Jobs

I do not like work, even when somebody else is doing it. - Mark Twain

Nothing prevents happiness like the memory of happiness. - Andre Gide

Happiness is not being pained in body or troubled in mind. - Thomas Jefferson

Deliberation is the work of many men. Action, of one alone. - Charles de Gaulle

You do your best work if you do a job that makes you happy. - Bob Ross

Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. - Victor Hugo

Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. - Euripides

A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness. - Bernard de Fontenelle

A leaf of grass is no less than the journey-work of the stars. - Walt Whitman

The only place where success comes before work is a dictionary. - Vidal Sassoon

Happiness depends on how life strikes you than on what happens. - Andy Rooney

The work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan. - Unknown

The key to success? Work hard, stay focused and marry a Kennedy. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Happy birthday to a sister who has the best sister in the world. - Unknown

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. - Jerome K. Jerome

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. - Andre Maurois

Positive thinking evokes more energy, more initiative, more happiness. - Unknown

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy. - Samuel Goldwyn

A good way I know to find happiness is to not bore a hole to fit the plug. - Josh Billings

Communism is like prohibition - it's a good idea but it won't work. - Will Rogers

A sure way to lose happiness is to want it at the expense of everything else. - Bette Davis

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. - Oscar Wilde

If I have one advantage, it's that I will try to work harder than the next guy. - Jay Leno

The power of finding beauty in the humblest things makes home happy and life lovely. - Louisa May Alcott

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. - Robert Frost

Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances. - Benjamin Franklin

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

It's important to make someone happy, and it's important to start with yourself. - Unknown

A first-rate laboratory is one in which mediocre scientists can produce outstanding work. - Patrick M.S. Blackett

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Edison

It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness: poverty and wealth have both failed. - Kin Hubbard

Never work just for money or power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

The romantic idealism of my youth has been replaced with realism and hard work at what I love. - Monique Roffey

Happiness, after all, is an inner state of mind. It is little dependent on outside environment. - Jawaharlal Nehru

Economists are people who work with numbers but who don't have the personality to be accountants. - Unknown

To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness. - John Dewey

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work. - Ogden Nash

Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. - Viktor Frankl

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. - Bill Vaughan

Dorothy was so happy to wake up in Kansas. Not I! I'd have looked for another cyclone and stood in its path! - Vivian Vance

What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son. - Ben Stein

Company cultures are like country cultures. Never try to change one. Try, instead, to work with what you've got. - Peter F Drucker

The power of fortune is confessed only by the miserable; for the happy impute all their success to prudence and merit. - Jonathan Swift

Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature. - Steve Maraboli

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. it means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. - Unknown

The more is given the less the people will work for themselves, and the less they work the more their poverty will increase. - Leo Tolstoy

All men have the same dose of happiness. I would have been no less happy as Monsieur Bonaparte than as the Emperor Napoleon. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Delegating doesn't mean passing off work you don't enjoy, but letting your employees stretch their skills and judgment. - Harvey Mackay

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

Study while others are sleeping; work while others are loafing; prepare while others are playing; and dream while others are wishing. - William Arthur Ward

It's said in Hollywood that you should always forgive your enemies because you never know when you'll have to work with them. - Lana Turner

Daily, constantly, we choose by our desires, our thoughts, and our actions whether we want to be blessed or cursed, happy or miserable. - Ezra T Benson

To be kind to all, to like many and love a few, to be needed and wanted by those we love, is certainly the nearest we can come to happiness. - Mary Roberts Rinehart

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

If it's green, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it has numbers, it's math. If it doesn't work, it's technology. - Unknown

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. - Barbara DeAngelis


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