#1 humor site on the 'net

Empty Birdhouse

Nature's way of spring cleaning

Empty Birdhouse thanks to Mike King

Unexpected welcome home

QuotaBills
Fowl: A four-letter bird. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Even snakes are afraid of snakes. - Steven Wright

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

The shell must break before the bird can fly. - Unknown

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

Was there a bird for the souls of people like me? - Ruta Sepetys

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals. - Donna Maria G

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Woodpecker: 1. A knocking bird; 2. A 17th Century prosthetic device. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

If you see a snake, just kill it - don't appoint a committee on snakes. - H. Ross Perot

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. - Steven Wright

The structure of a play is always the story of how the birds come home to roost. - Arthur Miller

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Birds find shelter during the rain, but eagles avoid rain by flying above the clouds. - Abdul Kalam

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Love is not only the story of butterflies or birds; it is also the story of jackals and hounds. - M.F. Moonzajer

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

You can not prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair. - Chinese Proverb

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

A male frigate bird blows up a wild red pouch on his neck. He can keep it puffed up for hours. It is his way of impressing the girls. - Julie Murphy

There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. - Robert Lynd


Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter