#1 humor site on the 'net

Frohe Weihnachten

Merry Christmas from the Marzipan Singers

Frohe Weihnachten thanks to Irvin Kauffman

QuotaBills
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

It's never too late for chocolate. - Unknown

Books and chocolate make life bearable. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. - Jo Brand

If it's not chocolate, it's not breakfast. - Laini Taylor

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

When we don't have the words, chocolate can speak volumes. - Joan Bauer

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

Chocolate is medicinal. I just did another study that confirms it. - Michelle M. Pillow

Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go. - Truman Capote

I only eat chocolate for you... so there'll be more of me to love! - Unknown

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

Business without profit is not business any more than a pickle is candy. - Charles F Abbott

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake. - Unknown

Chocolate makes otherwise normal people melt into strange states of ecstasy. - John West

What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. - Katharine Hepburn

Moderation, honey, in all things but love and chocolate. That's my motto. - Barbara Bretton

All I want is peace, love, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. - Unknown

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy. - Milton Berle

One of the most important gifts we have in television - the ability to heal through laughter. - Soleil M Frye

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

The good physician treats the disease; the great physician treats the patient who has the disease. - William Osler

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Reading a good book in silence is like eating chocolate for the rest of your life and never getting fat. - Becca Fitzpatrick

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals. - J K Rowling

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

We are all born with a grab bag on gifts and gaps. Identify your true talents, then find out how to use them to make money. - Bill O'Reilly

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. - Robert Orben

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon


Sonic Straw

Man At Work

Uncorked Wine

Double Handicap

Tetris Construction

Clorox Respirator

Our Aim

Truck Rest Stop

Romaine Empire

Hardworking Wife

What's That?

Long, Happy Marriage

Redneck iPad

Leonardo da Vinci's Unfinished Portrait

Microsoft Innovation

Mop Dog

Ventilated Bridge

Monkeying Around

Wing Support

Massage Therapist

Paper Wedding Dress

High Rise TV

Redneck Kickstand

Mary Potter