Heavy Drinking

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

The piano has been drinking, not me. - Tom Waits

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

I'd stop drinking but I'm not a quitter. - Unknown

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. - WC Fields

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor