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Looking Small

How to downsize your spouse

Looking Small thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Looking Small thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

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Reclimbing chair - Archie Bunker

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

A multitude of small delights constitutes happiness. - Charles Baudelaire

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. - Steven Wright

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least Miss Right Now. - Robin Williams

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it. - Steven Wright

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. - Henry David Thoreau

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

A position of eminence makes a great person greater and a small person less. - Jean De La Bruyère

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

The guitar is a small orchestra. It is polyphonic. Every string is a different color, a different voice. - Andres Segovia

A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history. - Mahatma Gandhi

It doesn't hurt. Nothing hurts except the small smiles and blushes that flash across the room like tiny sparrows. - Laurie H. Anderson

A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it. - Don Fraser

There's a saying among prospectors: "Go out looking for one thing and that's all you'll ever find." - Robert J. Flaherty

The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling. - Robert M Pirsig

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time. - J.M. Barrie

There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that's less than the one you're capable of living. - Nelson Mandela

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop. - Winston Churchill

If one looks at the map of the world, it's difficult to find Iraq, and one would think it rather easy to subdue such a small country. - Vladimir Putin


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