#1 humor site on the 'net

Manitoba Cold

This sums up Manitoba's weather this week

Manitoba Cold thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
The sky already fell. Now what? - Steven Wright

The brain is wider than the sky. - Emily Dickinson

Revenge is a dish best served cold. - Italian Proverb

I talk to God but the sky is empty. - Sylvia Plath

I fell of my pink cloud with a thud. - Elizabeth Taylor

Grey skies are just clouds passing over. - Duke Ellington

Knock on the sky and listen to the sound. - Zen Saying

Cursing the weather is never good farming. - English Proverb

Never underestimate the value of cold cash. - Gregory Nunn

The buffalo is a surprisingly stupid animal. - Ellsworth Huntington

I started out as a gaseous cloud. Then I cooled. - Jack Nicholson

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

A book must be the ax for the frozen sea within us. - Franz Kafka

Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything. - C S Lewis

The scalded dog fears hot water, and afterwards, cold. - Italian Proverb

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

He who has the property in the soil has the same up in the sky. - Latin Proverb

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Sadness is more or less like a head cold - with patience, it passes. - Barbara Kingsolver

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Problems that are procrastinated on are only amplified. Be the buffalo. - Unknown

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Though so trifling, the success of our first Buffalo hunt gave us quite a social lift. - Ernest T. Seton

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. - Don Marquis

When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb

The visions are fragmented and a dark cloud spreads like spilt ink across the pages of possible futures. - Garth Nix

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue of Liberty had both hands up. - Jay Leno

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Never design your character like a garden where anyone can walk. Design your character like the sky where everyone's desire is to reach. - Unknown

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Stool There

Soldier Tribute

It Was That Close

Messy Temper Tantrum

Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain

Lum-Purr-Jack

Cookie King

Time Travel

How To Hide Candy

Little Shaver

T-Rex Breakthrough

Wise Moves

Braille in the Park