Nitrate

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

What a nice night for an evening. - Steven Wright

Someday is not a day of the week. - Janet Dailey

New mysteries. New day. Fresh doughnuts. - David Lynch

It is always darkest just before the day dawneth. - Thomas Fuller

A decision made at night may be changed in the morning. - Samoan Saying

I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that day. - Mitch Hedberg

I might not be famous one day. But I'd still be happy. - Salma Hayek

My first day as a woman and I am already having hot flushes. - Robin Williams

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. - Psalms 30:5

Rivers know this: There is no hurry. We shall get there some day. - A.A. Milne

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. - Edmund Burke

To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day. - W Somerset Maugham

None of the "how was your day" or "woopdee woos." - Archie Bunker

Speaking ill of others is a cheap, dishonest way to praise ourselves. - Unknown

When one has a great deal to put into it, a day has a hundred pockets. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I'm not a real Halloween kind of guy, because Halloween is every day. - Al Jourgensen

I've been around so long I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin. - Groucho Marx

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

Middle age is when it takes you all night to do once what once you used to do all night. - Kenny Everett

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night... and reduce the crime rate. - Phyllis Diller

Life on a farm is a school of patience. You can't hurry the crops or make an ox in two days. - Haneri Liogier

He who devotes 16 hours a day to hard study may become as wise at 60 as he thought himself at 20. - Mary Wilson Little

I think every day is Groundhog's Day. I get to learn from my mistakes and be better every day. - Ashton Kutcher

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. - H L Mencken

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. - William Dement

One day you'll find someone who doesn't care about your past because they want to be your future. - Unknown

Success is one thing you can't pay for. You buy it on the installment plan and make payments every day. - Zig Ziglar

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Our oldest son was trying to find himself for about a year. Then one day he got a haircut, and found himself. - Phil Callaway

We all live in suspense, from day to day, from hour to hour; in other words, we are the hero of our own story. - Mary McCarthy

Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

Remember you're not entitled to anything. You have to earn your success every day, and you will make mistakes like everyone else. - Harvey Mackay

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller