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Nut Salesman

Make me a nut-e offer!

Nut Salesman thanks to Jim Serritella

QuotaBills
Moose are the squirrels of Alaska. - Tim Moon

I'm a nut, but not just a nut. - Bill Murray

If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys. - James Goldsmith

Jiffy: One metric ton of peanut butter - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love your enemy - it'll drive him nuts. - Unknown

Avoid fruit and nuts. You are what you eat. - Jim Davis

A squirrel is just a rat with a cuter outfit. - Sarah J. Parker

God gives the nuts, but He does not crack them. - German proverb

Inbred: Best way to eat peanut butter and jelly - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. - Henry David Thoreau

Why leave the nut you got for one you don't know? - Loretta Lynn

Men cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. - James A Garfield

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. - Leo Rosten

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. - Dylan Moran

Doughnuts: 1. Rolling Scones; 2. The only nuts with holes in them. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. - Charlie Brown

Make a tamale with peanut butter and jelly. Go ahead! Somebody will eat it. - Bobby Flay

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

Cashews: The nuts you should hold out for if you're currently working for peanuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Nut Bar: someone who has a polar opposite world view which is contrary to your own biased opinions - Debbie Milne

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Grammar: 1. Lives with granpar; 2. The difference between Feeling Your Nuts and Feeling You’re Nuts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

Be decisive. Right or wrong, make a decision. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision. - Unknown

Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self. - Millicent Fenwick

I'm not an equipment nut. I tend to use whatever's at hand. I have several cameras, of course, but I'm not emotional about any of them. - Leonard Nimoy


Lunch Break

Digging One's Own Grave

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Gas and Dash

OctoMask

Bird on a Wire (past tense)

Workplace Hazards in Tasmania

Tiger On A Roll

Men's Golf Rules

Where Did He Go?

Sudden Invented Syndrome

Calculus Drinks

Lights, Camera, Overreaction

Rebar Walker

Leading The Way

Melted Dog

Painful Ballet

Welder's Last Stand

My Life Goal

1-800-PILLCASH

Ghetto Boat

Hungry Hiker Tree

Redneck Roof

My Last Swim In The Ocean