#1 humor site on the 'net

Parent Delete

Suddenly our inflatable raft felt lighter...

Parent Delete thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

We are the people our parents warned us about. - Jimmy Buffett

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest. - Mark Twain

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Wrinkles are hereditary. Parents get them from their children. - Doris Day

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Reality: The leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. - Lily Tomlin

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

My parents are very good examples of Christians. They are big on forgiveness. - James Acaster

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

Stress depletes willpower, which diminishes your ability to control those emotions. - Roy F Baumeister

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

Grilling outside with my parents at the Jersey shore. We would grill lobster and corn in the summer. - Bobby Flay

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. - Phyllis Diller

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

The longer we live the more we think and the higher the value we put on friendship and tenderness towards parents and friends. - Samuel Johnson

Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right path, the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


ORCAstraighted

'Outside The Box' Juggler

HeidleBurger

Sun Skin Tone

I Think I'll Just Go Around

People Of The River

Synonym Rolls

New Stormtrooper

Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There

Soldier Tribute

It Was That Close

Messy Temper Tantrum

Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly