#1 humor site on the 'net

Parent Delete

Suddenly our inflatable raft felt lighter...

Parent Delete thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Put the ladder over before you jump overboard. - Unknown

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I know love at first sight can work. It happened to my parents. - George Clooney

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and radio. - Rodney Dangerfield

Insomnia: a contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents. - Shannon Fife

Future generations may well ask themselves, what were our parents thinking? - Al Gore

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

My parents treated my like I had a brain - which, in turn, caused me to have one. - Diane Lane

A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures. - Daniel Webster

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

To lose one parent may be regarded as misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness. - Oscar Wilde

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave
when they think that their children are naive. - Ogden Nash

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn't have anything to do with it. - Haim Ginott

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. - Unknown

Until you become a parent, you can't begin to discover your capacity for strength, love and fatigue. - Peter Gallagher

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

My parents live in a retirement community, which is basically a minimum-security prison with a golf course. - Joel Warshaw

My parents have been visiting me for a few days. I just dropped them off at the airport. They leave tomorrow. - Margaret Smith

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson


Fat Friend Prayer

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Nutella Face Lotion

Men in Denim

FearBusters

I Have No Time For Your Kisses, Woman

Here We Goat Again

WatchCat

Disk Drive

Unemployed Politicians

Aye Matey

Redneck Calculator

Pocket Knots

Where Do The Amish Go For A Vacation?

Life Extension

4th Dimension Bookshelf

Water Value

Flexible Toothbrush

Redneck Dent Repair

Veterinarian or Taxidermist?

Same Sex Marriage in Canada

CardboardZilla

Indian Writing