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The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise. - Alice Walker

Inflation: everyone's illusion of wealth - Unknown

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. - Steve Martin

e looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. - Sid Waddell

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry. - Joe Moore

I would love to voice an animated penguin or platypus at some point. - Jack Falahee

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

Never say never because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion. - Michael Jordan

The husband who desires to surprise is often very much surprised himself. - Voltaire

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo. - Al Gore

The story of Easter is the story of God's wonderful window of divine surprise. - Carl Knudsen

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

It's great to be a blonde. With low expectations it's very easy to surprise people. - Pamela Anderson

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

What a surprise to find you could shift the contents of your head like rearranging furniture in a room. - Lisa Alther

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader.
No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader. - Robert Frost

Don't tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results. - George S Patton

I'm into all that sappy stuff - a surprise picnic, nice dinner, or traveling. I'm kind of an old romantic. - Will Estes

I felt I'd earned the Good Housekeeping Seal when I designed an oval-shaped spaghetti pot, because spaghetti is long. - Rachael Ray

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik