#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck ATV

Bubba's new all-terrain 4 wheel vehicle

Redneck ATV thanks to Neal Marcia

QuotaBills
Racist Pig: A hog on wheels - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To stop aging, keep on raging. - Michael Forbes

I am a slow walker, but I never walk backwards. - Abraham Lincoln

Four wheels move the body. Two wheels move the soul. - Unknown

Aging wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul. - Douglas MacArthur

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag. - Phyllis Diller

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. - Daniel F E Auber

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

The wheelchair symbolizes disability in a way a cane does not. - Annette Funicello

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

Forget aging. If you're six feet above ground, it's a good day. - Faith Hill

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

Obscenity is whatever happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. - Bertrand Russell

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

Universal happiness keeps the wheels steadily turning; truth and beauty can't. - Aldous Huxley

Mirror: A truthful reflector shunned by vampires, hypocrites and aging fashion models - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. - Doug Larson

The dementia patient is not giving you a hard time. The dementia patient is having a hard time. - Kerry Kleinbergen

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.' - Ree Drummond

My disability exists not because I use a wheelchair, but because the broader environment isn't accessible. - Stella Young

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

Inventor: A person who makes an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes it civilization. - Ambrose Bierce

Tar Arns: (Southern) A tool employed in changing wheels. Usage: 'You cain't change a tar without a tar arn' - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have Dementia
My responses may be slow.
Take your time and wait for me,
It means more than you can know! - Unknown

Everyone has their preferred stroller, their preferred crib, their preferred Moses basket. And they have advice on that too! - Tori Spelling

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In the best, the friendliest and simplest relations flattery or praise is necessary, just as grease is necessary to keep wheels turning. - Leo Tolstoy

Aging: 1. A supposed ripening into wisdom that most Westerners attempt to delay as long as possible; 2. A one-way street with no stoplights. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The man who makes no mistakes lacks boldness and the spirit of adventure. He never tries anything new. He is a brake on the wheels of progress. - M.W. Larmour

Don't confuse the exertion of energy with traction. Apply yourself to establishing and maintaining momentum, not just spinning your wheels. - Tony Cooke


Tooth Loss

Organic Compromise

Classic Ballet Ad

Redneck Air Conditioning Controls

End Of World Car Sale

Digging Up A Date

Tomato Sprouts

Shuttle Bus Driver

Tight FM Bandwidth

Boat Hurdles

Sign Model

In Stock Guarantee

Microslave: You're Not Going Anywhere Today

Homing Pigeon Sale

Extra Weight

Proof of Global Warming

Colgate Advertising Campaign

Ship Tow

Canadian Warship

Swiss Army Mega Tools

Canadian Smart Car

I Like Cooking

Balanced Meal

Acoustic Hearing Aids