Redneck Beer Opener
Bubba never screws up - he screws down
Order now and get TWO bolt action reversible openers!
QuotaBillsBe an opener of doors. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Can Opener: Key to the washroom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
It's opener there in the wide open air. - Dr. Seuss
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open. - Steven Wright
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster