#1 humor site on the 'net

Ritz Nursing Home

Australian seniors puttin' on the Ritz

Ritz Nursing Home thanks to joe-kster

Travel to Leura, the Jewel in Australia's Blue Mountain's crown (New South Wales) for fresh mountain air, cool climate gardens, views, village shopping, galleries, hiking... and Retire-meant

QuotaBills
No doctor is better than three. - German Proverb

One doctor makes work for another. - English Proverb

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

Nurses are the hospitality of the hospital. - Carrie Latet

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

A nurse will always give us hope,
an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. - Orson Welles

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

The road to medical knowledge is through the pathological museum and not through an apothecary's shop. - William Withey Gull

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer


Donut Hole History

The Original Homeland Security

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Bustache

I Will Never Tell

Vancouver Snow Plow

Costco Wheels

British Accountant

Find Your Car

First Selfie

Spider Trap

Soothing Hairstyle

Winter Ready

Rush Job Calendar

Head Games

My Favourite Day of the Year

Millionaire Women

Face Palm

Restaurant Valentines

No Pit Stop Car

Men's Vacuum Cleaner

Love Lost

Below Ground

Religious Valentine