#1 humor site on the 'net

Scan Scam

Old Man? Take a look at his face!

Scan Scam thanks to Mel Hardman

Airport scanning equipment reveals unbelievable case of concealment

Passenger boards an Air Canada plane in Hong Kong as an old man and arrives in Vancouver as a young Asian refugee.
QuotaBills
Breathing dreams like air. - F Scott Fitzgerald

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Al McGuire

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Disappointments are to the soul what thunderstorms are to the air. - Johann C. F. von Schiller

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. - Steven Wright

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If ever a chef were to cook a fly, he would keep the breast for himself. - Poland Proverb

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

The nation that secures control of the air will ultimately control the world. - Alexander Graham Bell

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

It's OK to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation. - Rob Gilbert

You can't fly with the owls by night and expect to keep up with the eagles during the day. - Unknown

I want the pilot flying me up in the air at 30,000 feet to make more than a guy working at Taco Bell. - Michael Moore

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

A neurotic is a man who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the man who lives in it. And a psychiatrist is a man who collects the rent. - Lord Webb-Johnson

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

Love is like jumping out of an airplane with no parachute. But there’s no need to be frightened, because that plane is still on the ground. - Jarod Kintz

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Lebanon Social Distancing

Centaur of Tymfi

Swiss Spaghetti Harvest

Engagement Rings

Outback Golf Course

Importanter

Get In Line!

Landing On The Moon

Fire Breath

Sun Tan Sales

Ice Age Cake

Wailea Splendour

Me No Study

Peter Cotton Ale

Social Distancing Champ

GPS Directions

Secret Exit

Clippendales

Starborks

Post-Apocalyptical Section

Hide And Sikh

Yoga Pants

Really Good Day

Be Someone