#1 humor site on the 'net

Shining New Year

Stephen King's novel twist to New Year's Day

Shining New Year thanks to Mel Hardman

QuotaBills
I'm man enough to know when to scream. - Obert Skye

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

New Year's Day is every man's birthday. - Charles Lamb

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows. - George William Curtis

When I go I'll take New Year's Eve with me. - Guy Lombardo

All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams. - Elias Canetti

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right. - Oprah Winfrey

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets. - William Thomas

I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's. - Henry Moore

Listen to the whispers and you won't have to hear the screams. - Cherokee Saying

Every man regards his own life as the New Year’s Eve of time. - Jean Paul Richter

Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. - Mark Twain

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling. He who makes one is a fool. - F.M. Knowles

And now we welcome the new year. Full of things that have never been. - Rainer M. Rilke

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions! - Joey Adams

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. - Unknown

Your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing. - Abraham Lincoln

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty. - John Selden

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other. - Unknown

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. - Oscar Wilde

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things. - John Burroughs

The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul. - G K Chesterton

But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to twenty-year-old habits. - Andre Gide

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive. - Jay Leno

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man. - Benjamin Franklin

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to. - Bill Vaughan

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since. - Dave Beard

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

An individual starts off by facing his problem with resolution, but a convention saves the resolution for the end. - Unknown

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

I'm always worried when a woman sees me naked for the first time. That she's just gonna scream and run out of the park. - Gary Delaney

New Year's Day ... now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. - Mark Twain


Handicap Porch

Tip Generator

Waiting For Windows To Boot

So Close

Pork Chops

Brazilian Covid

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Nothing Wrong Picture

Cook Ring

Zipperhead

Politicians Be Like

Bridge Uplift

Beach Drag

Do Not Feed The Bears

Does Your Hedgehog Bite?

A Woman's Mind

Spaghetti Starter

Sidewalk Pickpocket

Wing Wedding

Relaxing Surgery

Fish Injuries

Nuclear Waste Truck

Rock Watcher

Frog Waltz