#1 humor site on the 'net

Stop Cutting Trees!

Wood be contenders wait in line

Stop Cutting Trees! thanks to Neal Marcia

Long-term effects of clearcut logging

We have to stop cutting down trees - this is getting serious!
QuotaBills
France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Dogs that bark at a distance never bite. - Unknown

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Trees are not known by their leaves, nor even by their blossoms, but by their fruits. - Eleanor of Aquitaine

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

The heart of another is a dark forest, always, no matter how close it has been to one's own. - Willa Cather

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Unknown

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

I'm always astonished by a forest. It makes me realise that the fantasy of nature is much larger than my own fantasy. - Gunter Grass

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin


Gun Laws

Mounted Deer Antlers

Anti-Theft Car

SUV Haircut

Two Feet of Snow in Seattle

Chevforodge

Redneck Skurfing

Golf Prayer

Warmest Wishes for a Perfect Sunday

Walking The Dog

Bobslide Event

Holy Bagel

Happy Down Under Day

In Deep Water

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Lean Beer

Cow Skiing

Trail Closed

Toothpaste Holder

Sun Top Roof With Sun Substitute

Tiger Dog

No More Arguing

Multi-Pour Coffee Pot

Things Bottled Up