Stretch Elephants

I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Done the elephants, done the poverty. - Phil Tufnell

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. - Mark Twain

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

When two elephants fight it is the grass that gets trampled. - African Proverb

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

Illusion is the dust the devil throws in the eyes of the foolish. - Minna Antrim

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. - Herb Caen

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. - WC Fields

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere. - Steven Wright

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

One morning I shot an elephant in my pyjamas.
How he got into my pyjamas I'll never know. - Groucho Marx

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

If you put yourself in a position where you have to stretch outside your comfort zone, then you are forced to expand your consciousness. - Les Brown

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins