#1 humor site on the 'net

Temperature Gauge

How cold was it last week in Vancouver?

Temperature Gauge thanks to Chris Johnson

Now that's cold!

QuotaBills
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Revenge is a dish best served cold. - Italian Proverb

I detest him more than cold boiled veal. - Lord Macaulay

You bring your own weather to the picnic. - Harlan Coben

Mother-In-Law Sandwich: Cold shoulder and tongue - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Was the ground cold when you crawled out this morning? - Henny Youngman

What good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness? - John Steinbeck

Fancy Restaurant: One that serves cold soup on purpose - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Trouble came - as trouble so often does - with a monkey. - Paul Collins

We are cold to others only when we are dull in ourselves. - William Hazlitt

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. - Charles Dudley Warner

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

Grantartica: The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

I came from Canada, where it's freezing cold for seven months out of the year. - Rachelle Lefevre

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. - John Steinbeck

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

I don't make plans, because life is short and unpredictable - much like the weather. - Al Roker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. - Corrie Ten Boom

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. - Ogden Nash

There are a zillion variables to a hamburger. What part of the animal went into it. What coarseness. What temperature. - Danny Meyer

In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations - it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir. - Stuart Keate

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. - Leonardo da Vinci


Wine Time Finally

Scooter Hearse

Thailand Ferry

Hard Hat Safety

Water Coolant

Spray-On Clothing

Bright Bookshelf

Saddle Surprise

Politicians Be Like

Senior Aerobics

Foiled Again

Redneck Beer Hunter

Pair Produce

Potting Pot

Ice Cream Burqa

Dog Soother

Fourk

Women's Outhouse

Crocodile Floor

Hummer Carriage

Antler Switch Plate

Redneck Cotter Pin

Redneck Bulldozer

Your Fly Is Down