QuotaBillsTexas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins
Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements
Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown
Those who have free seats at a play hiss first. - Chinese Proverb
I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins
Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz
Harlez Vous Francais?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot
If you stand up and be counted, someone will take your seat. - Unknown
I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez
In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo
Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown
You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton
News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch
Tupac was one of the biggest thugs I know - and he always wore his seat belt. - Ice Cube
Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown
The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson
How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman
Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles
If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. - Sheryl Sandberg
Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown
If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther
Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush
Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston
The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell
Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright
I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby
When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry
You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner
A university is an institution that has two thousand seats in the classrooms and eighty thousand in the stadium. - Unknown
I'll see you at the opera tonight. I'll hold your seat till you get there. After that, you're on your own. - Groucho Marx
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown
You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze
My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz
The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel
The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein