#1 humor site on the 'net

Tomato IV

When it's time to ketchup on the fruit of the vine

Tomato IV thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Sweat saves blood. - Erwin Rommel

The flesh of your blood. - Archie Bunker

It's okay to play with your food. - Emeril Lagasse

A young doctor means a new graveyard. - German Proverb

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi

You can't squeeze blood out of a tulip. - Archie Bunker

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

You don't need a silver fork to eat good food. - Paul Prudhomme

Chocolate is more than a food, but less than a drug. - R J Huxtable

The food in Yugoslavia is fine if you like pork tartare. - Ed Begley Jr.

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I think about food literally all day every day. It's a thing. - Taylor Swift

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

Clap an extinguisher upon your irony if you are unhappily blessed with a vein of it. - Charles Lamb

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Whether we fall by ambition, blood, or lust, like diamonds we are cut with our own dust. - John Webster

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

You can tell a man isn't handy when he asks the man next door how to get blood off a saw. - Milton Berle

The Irish are the only men who know how to cry for the dirty polluted blood of all the world. - Norman Mailer

If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood,
then I would be free to drink tea in the mud! - Emilie Autumn

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

I like spaghetti bolognese, I like baked beans on toast. I hate French food. I hate fancy food. - Simon Cowell

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. - Diogenes

Philanthropy without scale and sustainability is like any other bad business that will simply wither and die on the vine. - Naveen Jain

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

It's when we start working together that the real healing takes place. It's when we start spilling our sweat, and not our blood. - David Hume

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield


Airless See-Through Tires

Aussie Motorcycle

Statue Selfie

Bacon Sandwich

Elephant Hand

Unless Your Dog Can Do This

Dragon Buoy

Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

Bird Melons

Local Crabs

Black Golfer

Ostrich Imprint

Tea Party Weapon

Extra Space Bed

Unattended Children

ThrowYo

Cell Phone Warning

Umbrella Protection and Non-Protection

Husband Creche

Undertaker Bike

Road Sign Dictionary

Sandal Security

House Appraisal

Tongue Twister