TP Kid

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck

Every child begins the world again. - Henry David Thoreau

Joy Ride: Going somewhere without the kids - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. - Mark Twain

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

I love children if they're cooked properly. - WC Fields

A mother understands what a child does not say. - Jewish Proverb

Eat: What kids do between meals, but not at them - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

A new toy is something a child uses to break his old toys. - Joe-kster

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert

There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children. - George Burns

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back. - John Ruskin

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader. - Jackson Radcliffe

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity. - Kay R. Jamison

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate. - Nancy Astor

I had a very happy childhood, which is unsuitable if you're going to be an Irish writer. - Maeve Binchy

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. - Bill Cosby

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

A nation that does not stand for its children does not stand for anything and will not stand tall in the future. - Marian W Edelman

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely. - Mary Pickford

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

Historically the family has played the primary role in educating children for life, with the school providing supplemental scaffolding to the family. - Stephen Covey