TP Kid

Success is the child of audacity. - Benjamin Disraeli

Adults are just outdated children. - Dr. Seuss

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

The soul is healed by being with children. - Fyodor Dostoyevski

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp

Our greatest natural resource is the minds of our children. - Walt Disney

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. - Maria Montessori

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - Neil Postman

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children. - Dave Barry

There are two lasting bequests we can give our children. One is roots. The other is wings. - Hodding S. Carter

Don't worry that your children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. - Robert Fulghum

It's not uncommon to see kids on the school bus reading books and doing homework on the bus. - Anthony Amero

The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable. - Lane Olinghouse

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

We are the children of many sires, and every drop of blood in us in its turn ... betrays its ancestor. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

I've enjoyed many camping holidays with my sister and her children, but we're pretty posh campers. - Erin O'Connor

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender. - WC Fields

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals. - Lillian Carter

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts. A mother always has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner