TP Kid

Old men are twice children. - Greek Proverb

The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

The worst children are always somebody else's. - Unknown

The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the day. - John Milton

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

When inspiration does not come to me, I go halfway to meet it. - Sigmund Freud

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. - Judy Collins

As long as you know men are like children, you know everything. - Coco Chanel

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

I don't teach my children what is Hindu and what is Muslim. - Shah Rukh Khan

One child, one teacher, one book, one pen can change the world. - Malala Yousafzai

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm contributing to the, waddya call, on the loosincy of a child. - Archie Bunker

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. - Ann Landers

Don't focus on regrets; find your inspiration in what you can do now. - Catherine Pulsifer

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. - Haim Ginott

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

Children are paparazzi. They take your picture when you don't want them to. - Jamie Lee Curtis

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

What can we make of the inexpressible joy of children? It is a kind of gratitude. - Annie Dillard

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. - Doug Larson

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. - Phyllis Diller

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork. - Mark Twain

Technology is just a tool. In terms of getting the kids working together and motivating them, the teacher is the most important. - Bill Gates

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Forgiveness is that subtle thread that binds both love and friendship. Without forgiveness, you may not even have a child one day. - George Foreman