Warm Nap

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

When all else fails take a nap. - Unknown

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

An angry dog is best led by its tail. - Unknown

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The dog represents all that is best in man. - Etienne Charlet

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Light Sleeper: Someone who naps on the chandelier - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs got personality. Personality goes a long way. - Quentin Tarantino

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Colliefornia: The American state that has gone to the dogs - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

When the hares have all been caught, the hunting dogs are cooked. - Laozi

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. - Unknown

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

The best comfort food will always be greens, cornbread, and fried chicken. - Maya Angelou

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Ann Landers

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens? - Seymour Cray

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

I unfortunately still crave chicken McNuggets and bacon, which is the meat candy of the world. - Katy Perry

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I think I'm going to keep my Irish accent forever now in any movie I make, because chicks dig it. - Chris O'Dowd

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. - Arnold Toynbee

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Any processed chicken from any place - I'll order it in a heartbeat. I'm very picky about my pork, though. - David Chang

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer. - Alfred N Whitehead

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

Snap-On Gasket Scrapper: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash