Whose Problem

A plumber's idea of Cleopatra. - WC Fields

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Care shouldn't start in the emergency room. - James Douglas

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

The words you speak become the house you live in. - Hafiz

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

Obedience is the mother of success and is wedded to safety. - Aeschylus

An empty purse and a new house make a man wise, but too late. - Portuguese Proverb

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

Hidin' out in the house all the time, like some Bantam of the Opera. - Archie Bunker

Your own safety is at stake when your neighbor's house is in flames. - Horace

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

Having hope will give you courage. You will be protected and will rest in safety. - Bible

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

If we build in the desert, let the house know the desert and the desert be proud of the house. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan