Whose Problem

Electrical degenerators - Archie Bunker

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

Defendit numerus: There is safety in numbers. - Unknown

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

A man in the house is worth two in the street. - Mae West

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

The words you speak become the house you live in. - Hafiz

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

Peace and a well-built house cannot be bought too dearly. - Danish Proverb

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

If I had my life to live over again, I’d be a plumber. - Albert Einstein

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. - Thomas Edison

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Enthusiasm is the electricity of life. How do you get it? You act enthusiastic until you make it a habit. - Gordon Parks

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

The average auto owner drives so blamed reckless I'm glad that he does git robbed when he pays a repair bill. - Kin Hubbard

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected. - Spike Milligan

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright