You Want Me To Do What?

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. - Theodore Roosevelt

The police are recruited from the criminal classes. - Gore Vidal

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can. - Arthur Ashe

Dogs do speak, but only to those who know how to listen. - Unknown

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving. - Dennis Waitley

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on. - Ronnie Corbett

A police force, wherever they are, is made up of amazing people, and I respect them a great deal. - Nancy McKeon

Motivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it. - Dwight D Eisenhower

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very, very few people. - James Thurber

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

Everything that enlarges the sphere of human powers, that shows man he can do what he thought he could not do, is valuable. - Samuel Johnson

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz