#1 humor site on the 'net

You Want Me To Do What?

Sometimes we ask too much of our friends

You Want Me To Do What? thanks to Diane Baugh

QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Ya gotta do what ya gotta do. - Sylvester Stallone

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. - Andy Rooney

Do what you know and perception is converted into character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Elixir: What a dog does to his owner when she gives him a bone - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased. - Katharine Hepburn

First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. - Epictetus

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

The police force cannot be completely independent of the executive government. - P Chidambaram

Failures do what is tension relieving, while winners do what is goal achieving. - Dennis Waitley

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

Liberty is the right to do what I like; license, the right to do what you like. - Bertrand Russell

Police: The only people who are paid to go around pinching people in the wrong places - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

You must do what you love. Sometimes your passion will be the only thing that keeps you motivated. - Faydra D. Fields

Leadership is getting someone to do what they don't want to do, to achieve what they want to achieve. - Tom Landry

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. - David Frost

Creativity is not intelligence, it is the ability to do what you did not know through the use of what you know. - Michael B. Johnson

Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no others are, and to do what no other can do. - William Henry Channing

Everything that enlarges the sphere of human powers, that shows man he can do what he thought he could not do, is valuable. - Samuel Johnson

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I think our police are excellent, probably because I have not done anything that has occasioned being beaten up by these good men. - Clement Freud

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash

When you have police officers who abuse citizens, you erode public confidence in law enforcement. That makes the job of good police officers unsafe. - Mary F Berry


Where Do The Amish Go For A Vacation?

Life Extension

4th Dimension Bookshelf

Water Value

Flexible Toothbrush

Redneck Dent Repair

Veterinarian or Taxidermist?

Same Sex Marriage in Canada

CardboardZilla

Indian Writing

Ancient Shiloh

1938 Cost Of Living

Black Olives Matter

Peckish

Awesome 'P' Door

Snake Shortener

Scientific Driving Test

Fire Engine

First Impressions

On Its Last Legs

Fire Truck

Living In A Bubble

Underwater Smoking

Burger Sale