#1 humor site on the 'net

All Bottled Up

Storing time in bottles

All Bottled Up thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Palm Tree: A tree with hands - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Our humor turns our anger into a fine art. - Mary Kay Blakely

Love the art in yourself, not yourself in the art. - Constantin Stanislavski

Morality, like art, means drawing a line someplace. - Oscar Wilde

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

Making sushi is an art, and experience is everything. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Interpretation is the revenge of the intellect upon art. - Susan Sontag

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. - Don Marquis

By trying often, the monkey learns to jump from the tree. - Cameroon Proverb

Advertising is the greatest art form of the twentieth century. - Marshall McLuhan

When you think about a walking tree, laughter is the response. - John Rhys-Davies

The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. - Sun Tzu

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. - Pablo Picasso

Zealotry: 1. The enemy of idealism; 2. What a tree salesman likes to do. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

Life beats down and crushes the soul, but art reminds you that you have one. - Stella Adler

I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough? - Vincent van Gogh

True beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and tubes. - Unknown

Grantartica: The cold, isolated place where art companies dwell without funding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jealousy is the art of counting someone else's blessings instead of your own. - Unknown

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Propaganda is the art of persuading others of what you don't believe yourself. - Abba Eban

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Art is so wonderfully irrational, exuberantly pointless, but necessary all the same. - Gunter Grass

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

Bountiful: What Captain Bligh declared after learning that one more breadfruit tree would sink his ship - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown

Love is like the wild-rose briar, friendship like the holly-tree. The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms, but which will bloom most constantly? - Emily Bronte


Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey