#1 humor site on the 'net

American Mustache

Facial care in the U.S.

American Mustache thanks to Keith Blake

Mustache art in the Deep South

QuotaBills
Never ask the barber if you need a haircut. - Warren Buffet

Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

He doesn't dye his hair, he bleaches his face. - Johnny Carson

I feel old when I see mousse in my opponent's hair. - Andre Aggassi

You can't compete with a six foot five man in a wig. - Shemar Moore

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

Let the wind blow through your hair while you still have some. - Dave Weinbaum

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum. - P G Wodehouse

I really mustache you a question... but I'll shave it for later. - Unknown

I have little hair because my brain is so big it pushes the hair out. - Silvio Berlusconi

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

As long as I can wear a wig I can be any character, and in real life I can be myself. - Ginnifer Goodwin

As a child, I always chose a false nose and some face paint and a wig for my birthday. - Ashley Jensen

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

I'm not Irish. Just because I have red hair doesn't mean I'm a lucky charm. - Rebecca Mader

If you wear a wig, everybody notices. But if you then dye the wig, people notice the dye. - Andy Warhol

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

Whether you're a man or not comes from your heart, not how much hair you have on your head. - Bruce Willis

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

I love to put on a wig, a costume, inhabit a different world and be called something different. - Susan Egan

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. - George Burns

Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. - Khalil Gibran

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

You really just want to know that somebody loves you for you. Sometimes you feel like an ATM machine with a wig on it. - Mariah Carey

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

I wore a thong and a bra and a wig. Those things hurt. I mean, thongs? Like, they dig in. It takes a tough man to be a woman. - Hank Azaria

I'm acting when I serve as a hostess, when I run my wig business. I was born to act, and life itself is the greatest part. - Eva Gabor

As a travel writer I've specialized in gritty, fearful destinations, the kind of places that make a reader's hair stick on end. - Tahir Shah

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. - Garrison Keillor

His mind is concrete and fastidious,
His nose is remarkably big;
His visage is more or less hideous,
His beard it resembles a wig. - Edward Lear

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


Gun Laws

Mounted Deer Antlers

Anti-Theft Car

SUV Haircut

Two Feet of Snow in Seattle

Chevforodge

Redneck Skurfing

Golf Prayer

Warmest Wishes for a Perfect Sunday

Walking The Dog

Bobslide Event

Holy Bagel

Happy Down Under Day

In Deep Water

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Lean Beer

Cow Skiing

Trail Closed

Toothpaste Holder

Sun Top Roof With Sun Substitute

Tiger Dog

No More Arguing

Multi-Pour Coffee Pot

Things Bottled Up