#1 humor site on the 'net

Attentive Student

How to relax during a boring lecture

Attentive Student thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
I'm tired of getting made fun of. - Geraldo Rivera

Tired isn't a reason to sit down. - Ravi Zacharias

A morning without coffee is like sleep. - Unknown

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know. - Bill Watterson

Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds. - JoJo Jenson

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

Let the others have the charisma. I've got the class. - George H.W. Bush

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go. - Bill Watterson

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. - Mark Twain

You can lead a boy to college but you cannot make him think. - Elbert Hubbard

If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion. - Noam Chomsky

A college education shows a man how little other people know. - T.C. Hailburton

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

Those who go to college and never get out are called professors. - George Givot

If you get a reputation as an early riser, you can sleep till noon. - Irish Proverb

If you can't sleep do not count the sheep, worship the Shepherd. - Unknown

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. - Mark Twain

High school is a lot like toilet paper: you only miss it when it's gone. - Unknown

Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius. - Edward Gibbon

Plough deep while sluggards sleep, and you shall have corn to sell and to keep. - Benjamin Franklin

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then He made school boards. - Mark Twain

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I look up to him because he is upper class, but I look down on him because he is lower class. - Ronnie Corbett

If everybody in the world dropped out of school, we would have a much more intelligent society. - Jaden Smith

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I used the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. - Fred Allen

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life. - Unknown

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

Sometimes I feel like a groundhog. I wish that every time I saw my workplace I could just go down the hole and go off to sleep. - Sherry Bane

When you wake up in the morning, you have two choices: go back to sleep and dream your dreams, or wake up and chase those dreams. - Unknown

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

I was named the Class Clown in the high school yearbook, so I was always turning to comedy and laughter to heal and to get me through things. - Guillermo Diaz


New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike

Build Back Better - Season 2

Build Back Better - Season 1

Zamboni Date

Bagpipe Runners

9 Months On The Inside

Noah Called

The Mighty Stegosaurus

Get A Dog They Said

Are You Ready?

Down Day