#1 humor site on the 'net

Baked Tulips

Turning flower into flour

Baked Tulips thanks to Keith Blake

Twolips are better than one!

How to tell when it's too hot for the flowers
QuotaBills
At my age flowers scare me. - George Burns

I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

Whose bread I eat, his song I sing. - Germany Proverb

Bad bread wrecks my outlook on life. - Jeffrey Steingarten

Acorns were good until bread was found. - Francis Bacon

An old man loved is winter with flowers. - Unknown

Bread and water can so easily be toast and tea. - Janet Clarkson

Me writing about tennis is like a baker baking bread. - Ion Tiriac

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Baking is like washing - the results are equally temporary. - Patricia Briggs

A quotation at the right moment is like bread to the famished. - Talmud

Since the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid. - e e cummings

I suppose I could have stayed home and baked cookies and had teas. - Hillary Clinton

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. - Steven Wright

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up. - John C Maxwell

I need God's grace and something baked with peanut butter and chocolate. - Gloria Furman

Always it's Spring,and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves. - e e cummings

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with. - George Carlin

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

Ever notice that the hardness of the butter increases with the softness of the bread? - Unknown

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. - Albert Schweitzer

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

Even bees, the little almsmen of spring bowers, know there is richest juice in poison-flowers. - John Keats

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

I love eating sushi and eating raw and clean - no pasta and bread. Low carbs is what works for me. - Christine Teigen

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Why buy flowers for Valentine's Day? Just go to a cemetery and collect a dozen off a few graves. - Jarod Kintz

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen. - Archie Bunker

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. - Ursula K. Leguin

For my last meal, I'd want an Irish breakfast with soda bread and one of my dad's omelettes with three or four eggs. - Erin O'Connor

It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks. - George Eliot

Where our bread is concerned, it is a material matter. Where our neighbor's bread is concerned, it is a spiritual matter. - I.D. Douglas

The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread. - Anatole France


Make Loaf Not War

Topping The Charts

Passageway

Wet Suit Danger

Shopping With Grandma

Colorectal Exam For Dogs

Suitcase Recycling

1941 PTO Portable Sawmill

Leaky Pipes

Camel Photobomb

Teabucks

Diabetes Donation

Garmin Drive

CreepEye

Sleeping Guests

Unknown Assailant

Undergarment Financing

Shear Dog

Open For Business

This Rocks

Lifting Heavy Objects

Tomato Treat

Wrong Planet

Evaluating Something