#1 humor site on the 'net

Bone Appetite

Never stop reaching for the impossible!

Bone Appetite thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

... or in French, bon appetit
QuotaBills
Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

France is a dog-hole. - William Shakespeare

Let sleeping dogs lie. - French Proverb

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

How much is that doggie in the window? - Bob Merrill

I am I because my little dog knows me. - Gertrude Stein

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

We break bones and we lose teeth. We play rugby. - Martin Johnson

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. - Redd Foxx

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

If dogs could talk, it would take a lot of fun out of owning one. - Andrew A. Rooney

Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer. - Leo Rosten

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

Sucking all the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone. - Robin Williams

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

It is better to have ten skeletons in your closet, than walk with no bones. - Anthony Liccione

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

America forms the longest and straightest bone in the earth's skeleton. - Ellsworth Huntington

We are all sculptors and painters, and our material is our own flesh and bones. - Henry David Thoreau

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

The evil that men do lives after them; the good is oft interred with their bones. - William Shakespeare

Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock. - Will Rogers

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done, and done right. - Walt Disney

The average Ph.D thesis is nothing but the transference of bones from one graveyard to another. - Frank Dobie

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

I have great, fond memories of Canada. I feel that one day my bones will more than likely end up there. - Aden Young

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner and cry by myself for hours. - Eric Idle

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

You reached into my soul and rearranged the position of my bones,
You rebuilt my rib cage so your heart could be home. - Unknown

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Baby Birth

Chicken Roost

Magnetic Personality

Cold Corners

Swiss Minigun

Underwater Plane

Fire Destroyed

Groj Sale

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

You May Pet Me

Whatever Time

Cutting Off Board

Car Swarm

We Open

Cloud Computing

Feather Fashion

Nitrate

Proper English

Winter SOS

Canadian Driving Perk

Radio Shack Closes Down

Lunch Apple

Country Office

Pre Tsunami