Booze Wedding

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

English Wrestling Champion: A lord of the ring - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. - Woody Allen

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Effective engagement is inspired by the empathy that develops simply by being human. - Brian Solis

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

Without the will, marriage is a mockery; without the emotion, it is a drudgery. You need both. - Ravi Zacharias

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong. - Muhammad Ali

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

I think hearts are very much like glasses - if they do not break with the first ring, they usually last a considerable time. - Letitia Landon

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland