Booze Wedding

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Hare Brush: Used to groom a rabbit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Knewlyweds: Second marriage for both - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

I could not get the ring without the finger. - Thomas Middleton

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

Veiled Threat: When your girlfriend hints at a wedding - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is a fair garden, and marriage a field of nettles. - Finnish Proverb

I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement. - Oscar Wilde

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

Real, sustainable community change requires the initiative and engagement of community members. - Helene D Gayle

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people. It is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx