Christmas Clothing

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

Drink triple, see double, act single. - Unknown

I eat swiss cheese from the inside out. - Steven Wright

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. - Unknown

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. - Phyllis Diller

Laughter is the smile of God on a troubled world. - Phil Callaway

Life is a rollercoaster. Try to eat a light lunch. - David A. Schmaltz

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

If you make yourselves sheep, the wolves will eat you. - Benjamin Franklin

Electroplate: What atomic scientists eat their dinner from - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Safety Belt: The one you don't drink before driving home - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Since the thing perhaps is to eat flowers and not to be afraid. - e e cummings

A smile takes but a moment, but the memories of it last forever. - Unknown

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too. - Unknown

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. - Unknown

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver, so I could drink more and care less. - Tina Fey

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

A smile in giving honest criticism can make the difference between resentment and reform. - Philip Steinmetz

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat. - Will Rogers

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

Want to learn to eat a lot? Here it is: Eat a little. That way, you will be around long enough to eat a lot. - Tony Robbins

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

We can smile even though we are hurting and we can feel happy even though we are unhappy. It's called strength. - Thea Destiny

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.) - Dorothy Parker

My Doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. I drink too much. Way too much. My doctor drew blood. He ran a tab. - Rodney Dangerfield

What ya eat ain't got nuttin' to do with how old ya are. That all depends on your ancestors. It's what they call a matter of heresy. - Archie Bunker