Church Sign Messages

God gave me my money. - John D. Rockefeller

You cannot serve God and Mammon. - Bible

Without God life makes no sense. - Andrei Bitov

God does not play dice with the universe. - Albert Einstein

Superstition is the religion of feeble minds. - Edmund Burke

A politician... one that would circumvent God. - William Shakespeare

I should not believe in a God who does not dance. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Ask God for what man can give, and you may get it. - European Proverb

The atheist religion don't believe in the bible. - Archie Bunker

Love beauty; it is the shadow of God on the universe. - Gabriela Mistral

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us. - Saint Augustine

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

The heart that is generous and kind most resembles God. - Robert Burns

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

True religion is the life we lead, not the creed we profess. - Louis Nizer

Until we meet again, may God bless you as he has blessed me. - Elvis Presley

God may forgive your sins, but your nervous system won't. - Alfred Korzybski

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

There is nothing more important than appearing to be religious. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I am inclined to believe that this is the land God gave to Cain. - Jacques Cartier

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

The Religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If there's one thing I know, it's that God does love a good joe-k. - Hugh Elliott

The sign said "eight items or less." So I changed my name to Les. - Steven Wright

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

Let evil swiftly befall those who have wrongly condemned us - God will avenge us. - Jacques de Molay

A sense of humor, properly developed, is superior to any religion so far devised. - Tom Robbins

Every evening I turn worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. - Mary C. Crowley

No man can be called friendless when he has God and the companionship of good books. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. - Desmond Tutu

If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology. - Jay Leno

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us. - Peter De Vries

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them. - P.T. Forsyth

I always distrust people who know so much about what God wants them to do to their fellows. - Susan B Anthony

Easter is a time when God turned the inevitability of death into the invincibility of life. - Craig D Loundsbrough

The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. - Nicolas Chamfort

Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

Failure is God's way of saying, "Excuse me, you're moving in the wrong direction." - Oprah

The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays. - Soren Kierkegaard

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

An angel is a spiritual creature created by God without a body for the service of Christendom and the church. - Leo Rosten

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Thank God for tea! What would the world do without tea! How did it exist? I am glad I was not born before tea. - Sydney Smith

God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him. - Tara Reid

Pain is a sign that we are alive. Problems are a sign that we are strong. Prayer is a sign that we are not alone. - Unknown

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is God's Gift. That's why we call it the 'Present.' - Bill Keane

"I am who I am", said God to Moses regarding His name, because none was worth to be compared to His godhead. - Toba Beta

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. - Bill Watterson

The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase, "And now a word from our sponsor." - Hal Eaton

The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us. - C S Lewis

Faith isn't about always having all the answers. Faith is about believing that God will always come through for you. - Unknown

When faith replaces doubt, when selfless service eliminates selfish striving, the power of God brings to pass His purposes. - Thomas S Monson

God proved His love on the Cross. When Christ hung, and bled, and died, it was God saying to the world, 'I love you.' - Billy Graham

A mighty fortress is our God,
A bulwark never failing;
Our helper He,
amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing. - Martin Luther

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. - Virginia Woolf

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

God has infinite attention to spare for each one of us. You are as much alone with him as if you were the only being he had ever created. - C S Lewis

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use. - Galileo Galilei

God is dead: but considering the state the species Man is in, there will perhaps be caves, for ages yet, in which his shadow will be shown. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Charity may be a very short word, but with its tremendous meaning of pure love, it sums up man's entire relation to God and to his neighbor. - Aelred of Rievaulx

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe