Church Sign Messages

Man is a god in ruins. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

You cannot serve God and Mammon. - Bible

Without God life makes no sense. - Andrei Bitov

That Meathead calls me a religious phonetic. - Archie Bunker

The Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God. - Donald Trump

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

Trust in God, but tether your camel at night. - Jack Ryan

We steal if we touch tomorrow. It is God's. - Henry Ward Beecher

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. - Henny Youngman

Keep your faith in God, but keep your powder dry. - Oliver Cromwell

God is not interested in your art but, your heart. - Ifeanyi E. Onuoha

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

God is always on the side of the heaviest battalions. - Voltaire

If God can work through me, he can work through anyone. - Saint Francis of Assisi

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. - Lily Tomlin

If God wanted us to fly, he would have given us air tickets. - Mel Brooks

I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created. - Donald Trump

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

God never sent hunger without sending something to satisfy it. - Ireland Proverb

I am inclined to believe that this is the land God gave to Cain. - Jacques Cartier

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board. - Mark Twain

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition. - Alan Turing

The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. - George Bernard Shaw

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. - Oscar Wilde

A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters

But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things. - Vincent Van Gogh

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

A pretty good test of a man's religion is how it affects his pocketbook. - Francis James Grimke

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

I suppose the best kind of spring morning is the best weather God has to offer. - Dodie Smith

The grass withers, the flower fades
But the word of our God stands forever. - Isaiah 40:8

When God created the world, he didn't draw a line between Canada and America. - Marianne Williamson

Every evening I turn worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway. - Mary C. Crowley

I cannot conceive how a man could look up into the heavens and say there is no God. - Abraham Lincoln

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

A person's name is, to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language. - Dale Carnegie

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

Religion is like a map. The route isn't important. It's the destination that matters. - Marianne Williamson

Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart. - Mother Teresa

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

God puts you on the runway and takes you off the runway. What you do on the runway is up to you. - Unknown

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. - Josh Billings

If I were ever prosecuted for my religion, I truly hope there would be enough evidence to convict me. - John Wooden

I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls in to line. - Lucille Ball

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

The whole religious complexion of the modern world is due to the absence from Jerusalem of a lunatic asylum. - Havelock Ellis

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

Man is more interesting than men. God made him and not them in his image. Each one is more precious than all. - Andre Gide

We ought to be doing all we can to make it possible for every child to fulfill his or her God-given potential. - Hillary Rodham Clinton

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. - Mark 10:25

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. - Garrison Keillor

It is a press, certainly, but a press from which shall flow in inexhaustible streams... through it, God will spread his word. - Johannes Gutenberg

Englishmen learn Christ's law best in English. Moses heard God's law in his own tongue; so did Christ's apostles. - John Wycliffe

I find that the nicest and best people generally profess no religion at all, but are ready to like the best men of all religions. - Samuel Butler

When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in this life that you denied yourself. - Unknown

It's all nonsense. It's only nonsense. I'm not afraid of the rain. I am not afraid of the rain. Oh, oh, God, I wish I wasn't. - Ernest Hemingway

Ultimately, America's answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired. - Robert F. Kennedy

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they're the ones who can sign you into the nursing home. - Dennis Miller