#1 humor site on the 'net

Cruise Bikini

You can do anything you want when you win at the casino

Cruise Bikini thanks to joe-kster

Fred's friends thought he needed a bit more suntan protection

Search for “The Other Princess”
Fred was on a roll - poker winnings set him up for an Acapulco vacation, on a Princess cruise ship (the Dawn Princess) - it was to be a “Dawn” of a new travel adventure for him. After disembarking from Acapulco, the ship was to travel through the Panama Canal, traversing from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean, through a series of six locks – starting at the west-side Gatun Lock and ending in the east at the Miraflores Lock.

The trip of a lifetime started in the library, absorbed in David
McCullough’s “The Path Between The Seas”. Fred imagined himself as one of the migrant workers tasked with building the Canal during the years 1870-1914, catching malaria in one of the many swamps being
dredged along the 77km path. Fred was taken to the local Panama City hospital where a Doctor prescribed quinine treatment. Unknown to Fred, the first hospitals in Panama contributed to the problem themselves by unwittingly providing breeding places for mosquitoes inside unscreened wards.

Shaken back to reality by a “virtual itch”, Fred put aside his book and wandered down to the ship’s infirmary - he wanted to see how much better today’s medical facilities were than those back in the early 1900s. There he met the ship’s Cruise Nurse, Josephine. Although Fred thought that Josephine would most certainly cure any worker’s inclination to visit a hospital (considering her forced enema treatments), he found out that Josephine also sidelined as an instructor of the ship’s popular Photoshop computer class, “What You Sea Is What You Get”.

After attending Josephine’s class later that afternoon, Fred was anxious to find a subject to “touchup” with his new-found skills. He grabbed his camera and went to the ship’s foredeck. There, piering over the Miraflores Lock, Fred met the girl of his dreams - certainly not Josephine, but the “other” Princess. His day complete as the Dawn Princess exited the Panama Canal on its way to the Caribbean Sea, Fred found a lounge chair on deck, put away his book and soaked in the sunshine... just as Josephine rounded the corner and found her new Photoshop subject – a true FantaSea!

QuotaBills
Solomon: Jamaican bachelor - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fame is the thirst of youth. - Lord Byron

Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

Death ends a life, not a relationship. - Jack Lemmon

Romance is the icing, the love is the cake. - Unknown

Fame is a fickle food upon a shifting plate. - Emily Dickinson

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Assumptions are the termites of relationships. - Henry Winkler

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. - Oscar Wilde

Deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. - Oscar Wilde

The desire for fame is the last weakness wise men put off. - Tacitus

Hand Scanner: Singles bar prowler looking for wedding rings - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fame: The advantage of being known to those who do not know us. - Sebastien Chamfort

The great myth of our times is that technology is communication. - Libby Larsen

Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something else. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

Extremists think 'communication' means agreeing with them. - Leo Rosten

Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others. - Wayne Dyer

I don't really get romance. Bring me fish or moose, not flowers. - Eden Robinson

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. - Homer Simpson

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status. - Abdul'Rauf Hashmi

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Sometimes the best communication happens when you're on separate bikes. - Unknown

Nothing arouses ambition so much as the trumpet clang of another's fame. - Baltasar Gracian

Fame is only good for one thing - they will cash your check in a small town. - Truman Capote

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. - Erma Bombeck

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

John Wooden was a hall of fame character long before he was a hall of fame coach. - John C Maxwell

Marketers need to build digital relationships and reputation before closing a sale. - Chris Brogan

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Content builds relationships. Relationships are built on trust. Trust drives revenue. - Andrew Davis

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

No matter how much fame and fortune you achieve, don't get wrapped up in yourself. - Dal Richards

An almost perfect relationship with his father was the earthly root of all his wisdom. - C S Lewis

Love and respect are the most important aspects of parenting, and of all relationships. - Jodie Foster

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice: You can be right or you can be happy. - Ralphie May

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

Fame is not the glory! Virtue is the goal, and fame only a messenger, to bring more to the fold. - Vanna Bonta

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Somehow a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy forever. - Helen Rowland

I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative. - Michael Losier

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

Remember that your best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. - Unknown

Pigeons are gentle and smart and have complex social relationships. Their hearing and vision are both excellent. - Ingrid Newkirk

Relationships are about give and take; not tit-for-tat. If you're keeping score, you'll lose at your own game. - Faydra D. Fields

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

If you absolutely can't stay positive, don't go negative, just cruise neutral for a while until you can get back up. - Terri Guillemets

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people. - Axl Rose

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. - Dave Barry

I'm not sure which is harder on a relationship: sharing a dresser for three years, or sharing an iPhone charger for one day. - Unknown

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Some men's ambition is art, some men's ambition is fame, some men's ambition is gold. My ambition is the souls of men. - William Booth

A problem occurs when people want the benefits of a relationship with God without the responsibilities of a relationship with God. - Jim Herring

Like a human being, a company has to have an internal communication mechanism, a 'nervous system', to coordinate its actions. - Bill Gates

I not only knew Houdini, but we had a very lovely relationship. I really though we had something going, and then the son of a gun disappeared. - Betty White

You don't develop courage by being happy in your relationships everyday. You develop it by surviving difficult times and challenging adversity. - Epicurus

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

Forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. - Yolanda Hadid


Game Car

Overloaded Mailbox

Redneck Phone

Enjoy Fresh Air

Bread Board

Snaccident

Mini Bar

Frisbee Stopper

Redneck Sushi

Redneck's Lo-Tech Mobile Phone

Downchuck

Border Agent Alert

Cadillac Clearance

Leading By Example

Wired For Coffee

Cadillac Bike

Chip and Dip

Cat Couch Nap

Redneck Trophy Fish

Country Irony

'None Of The Above' Election Option

I've Got Your Back

Vintage Campers

Great Minds of History