#1 humor site on the 'net

Darth Vader Dog

Preparing for the canine space cadets

Darth Vader Dog thanks to Keith Blake

Vader in a Bat Dog Disguise: protecting the yard from Robins

QuotaBills
A hard dog to keep on the porch. - Hillary Clinton

Language is a virus from outer space. - William S Burroughs

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

For NASA, space is still a high priority. - Dan Quayle

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hot dog at the ballpark is better than a steak at the Ritz. - Humphrey Bogart

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. - Roseanne Barr

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

No man should live where he can hear his neighbor's dog bark. - Nathaniel Macon

It is sheer laziness not compressing thought into a reasonable space. - Winston Churchill

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

I am obsessed with Costco. I love the salmon and rotisserie chicken, the dog beds. - Kris Jenner

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

I love working in Canada. The ovation is great. It makes me feel like I'm the top dog. - Owen Hart

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. - John Glenn

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia


2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Bach Flip

Apathy Mountain

My Toaster Is Broken

Solemate

Double Vision

Please Help My Car

Adultery

Moses' USB Tablets

Virus Update

Carnations vs. Roses

Waterproof Notepad

Sudoku Cats

Harlie's Angel

Ladder Load

Road To Nowhere

Bartender Mechanic

Promote Yourself

Noteable Bartender

Microsoft Innovation

Complaint Jar

First Selfie

Leave My Drink Alone

Great Scott!