#1 humor site on the 'net

Dogs Allowed

The dog that could would

Dogs Allowed thanks to Jim Serritella

How to make yourself eligible

QuotaBills
Colic: A sheep dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love me, love my dog. - English Proverb

Every dog has his day. - Unknown

Let fightin' dogs lie - Archie Bunker

Never let the tail wag the dog. - Unknown

Southpaw: A dog who is left-handed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

Lassitude: A heroic dog with attitude - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

The more I see of men, the more I like dogs. - Madame de Stael

Free men do not ask permission to bear arms. - Thomas Jefferson

Get the hanging dog expression off your face. - Archie Bunker

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. - Harry S Truman

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Do not allow loneliness to lower your standards. - Renee Slansky

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

If a man be great, even his dog will ear a proud look. - Japanese Proverb

Better to be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion. - English Proverb

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. - WC Fields

Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled. - Horace

The dog who meets with a good master is the happier of the two. - Maurice Maeterlinck

We don't sell data; we don't allow anyone to sell data. - Mark Zuckerberg

When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbey

It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission. - Grace Hopper

If we growl all day we're likely to feel dog tired at night. - Amish Saying

The quickest way to become an old dog is to stop learning new tricks. - John Rooney

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it. - John F Kennedy

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least. - Robert Byrne

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there. - Martin Luther

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself. - Josh Billings

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Goals allow you to take control. Instead of living life by chance, you live by choice. - Kam Knight

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

Permit me to issue and control the money of a nation, and I care not who makes its laws. - Mayer A. Rothschild

It's not the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog. - Mark Twain

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. - Robert Benchley

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society. - Rush Limbaugh

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Your own mind is a sacred enclosure into which nothing harmful can enter except by your permission. - Arnold Bennett

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

One way to sell a consumer something in the future is simply to get his or her permission in advance. - Seth Godin

Power is my mistress. I have worked too hard at her conquest to allow anyone to take her away from me. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Laughter is like a windshield wiper - it won't stop the rain, but it will allow you to keep going. - Unknown

Obama and his attack dogs have nothing but hate and anger in their hearts and spew it whenever possible. - Donald Trump

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

You're never allowed to step on people to get ahead, but you can step over them if they're in your way. - Star Jones

The game of golf would lose a great deal if croquet mallets and billiard cues were allowed on the putting green. - Ernest Hemingway

One shouldn't allow oneself to be intimidated by something that can be picked up and tucked under one's arm. - Barbara Hambly

When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. - Nora Ephron

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too. - Oscar Levant

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It's cheaper and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner

Ideas are far more powerful than guns. We don't allow our enemies to have guns, why should we allow them to have ideas. - Joseph Stalin

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Pollution is nothing but the resources we are not harvesting. We allow them to disperse because we've been ignorant of their value. - R Buckminster Fuller

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

When you die, God and the angels will hold you accountable for all the pleasures you were allowed in this life that you denied yourself. - Unknown


Inverted Helicopter

Water Hat

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Busted

Build It - They Will Come

Exhausted Baby

Monkeypox II

Overloaded Bookshop

Grass Leak

Family Tent

False Dreams

Fishnet Stockings

Saskatchewan Freeway

They All Look So Jacozy

Sunset Eclipse

Ikea Blueprint

Flight of the Ladybug

Nerve Twitch

Yellowstone Bears

Kayak Funeral

Dutch Bike

Breadlace

Sled Dog

Hog Hunter