#1 humor site on the 'net

Exit Door

Trying to find a way out of the room?

Exit Door thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
Leave the gun, take the cannoli. - The Godfather

Pain will leave you, when you let go. - Jeremy Aldana

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die. - Clyde Campbell

My peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you. - John 14:27

Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse. - Irene L. Luce

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Take me or leave me, or, as is the usual order of things, both. - Dorothy Parker

God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with him. - Jim Elliot

No man should leave in the universe anything of which he is afraid. - G K Chesterton

Leave some mystery to the world and they will remember you forever. - Amit Kalantri

The whole point of getting things done is knowing what to leave undone. - Lady Stella Reading

Love is never as ferocious as when you think it's going to leave you. - Anita Shreve

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

Here you leave today and enter the world of yesterday, tomorrow, and fantasy. - Walt Disney

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him. - JRR Tolkien

The world is a fine place and worth the fighting for and I hate very much to leave it. - Ernest Hemingway

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars. That's subtraction. - Mae West

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

You leave home to seek your fortune and, when you get it, you go home and share it with your family. - Anita Baker

Make a fist. Lightly. Leave enough room for a breath to pass through. All magic proceeds from breath. - Clive Barker

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open, and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away. - Dorothy Parker

Parents should leave books lying around marked "forbidden" if they want their children to read. - Doris Lessing

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

When you are skinning your customers, you should leave some skin on to grow so that you can skin them again. - Nikita S Khrushchev

It is our art that has an opportunity to leave a footprint in the sand. They don't wrap fish in our work. - Hugh N Jacobsen

When we checked with the title insurance company, they said we had ... a complete right to that entrance and exit. - Donald Trump

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

To find what you seek in the road of life, the best proverb of all is that which says: "Leave no stone unturned." - Edward Bulwer Lytton

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. - George Burns

Not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. - George Sala

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

Things end. People leave. And you know what? Life goes on. Besides, if bad things didn't happen, how would you be able to feel the good ones? - Elizabeth Scott

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi


What A Deal

Moon Theft

Sushi Spine

Redneck Skateboard

2020 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Polar Bear Photographer

Friday the 13th

LadyNet

I Can Explain It

Parallel Parking Car

Frog Long Jumper's Rest Break

Road To Nowhere

Hobbit Love

Vibrations

On Short Notice

Octopi

Big Birthday Surprise

Cliff Side Camping

Childhood Obesity

Meccano Shoe

OCD Floor Tiles

Wedding Cake for Men

Baby Birth

Chicken Roost