#1 humor site on the 'net

Flamingo Imposter

Getting in on the action

Flamingo Imposter thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

Friccastewing a chicken on the hotplate - Archie Bunker

Heavenly bodies are nests of invisible birds. - Dejan Stojanovic

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

The Bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame. - Kohta Hirano

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

If you want chicken soup, you've got to put a chicken in the pot. - Joe Segal

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. - Steven Wright

In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence. - Robert Lynd

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

I love my squirrel and dumplings, but you can make it with chicken and dumplings. - Kay Robertson

It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up. - Muhammad Ali

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

Is this chicken or is this fish? I know it's tuna but it says chicken of the sea. - Jessica Simpson

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind. Listen to the birds. And don't hate nobody. - Eubie Blake

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

The chicken probably came before the egg because it is hard to imagine God wanting to sit on an egg. - Unknown

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor. - Helen Rowland

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

The moment a little boy is concerned with which is a jay and which is a sparrow, he can no longer see the birds or hear them sing. - Eric Berne

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan


Coffee World

Horsing Around

Think Big

The Wurst Spiral I've Seen

Grass Leak

Dead Sea Fish

Jesus On The Beach

NASCAR Fan - Diehard Category

Moldy Bible

Break Dance Soccer

Milk of Amnesia

Foot-Ball

Exhausted Baby

Open Air Wiring

Miss Chernobyl 2004

Fish Lips

Easy Mopping

African Lunch

Structural Books

Honda Boxer Engine

Sick Tombstone

No Drip

Gun Leash

Whole Human