#1 humor site on the 'net

Flamingo Imposter

Getting in on the action

Flamingo Imposter thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Bird House: Home Tweet Home. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Birds of a feather flock together. - English Proverb

Wishing to be a bird so you can Fly Away. - Unknown

Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness. - Alejandro Jodorowsky

The bird a nest, the spider a web, man friendship. - William Blake

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird gets the worm. The early worm gets eaten. - Norman Augustine

The bird is powered by its own life and by its motivation. - Abdul Kalam

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

Egg: 1. A day's work for a hen; 2. A bird's hometown. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

A bird in the hand is a certainty, but a bird in the bush may sing. - Bret Harte

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. - John Berry

Impeccable: 1. Having immunity to woodpeckers; 2. Hidden from birds. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

Though what bird in the best of circumstances does not look a little stricken? - Lorrie Moore

With birds flying around, man's desire for having wings rises to infinite. - Mehmet M Ildan

I know of only one bird (the parrot) that talks; and it can't fly very high. - Wilbur Wright

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer; it sings because it has a song. - Lou Holtz

Birds with broken wings walking on the ground were once flying high up in the sky. - Mehmet M Ildan

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing than to teach ten thousand stars how not to dance. - e e cummings

My brother thinks he's a chicken.
We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs. - Groucho Marx

If you turn the imagination loose like a hunting dog, it will often return with the bird in its mouth. - William Maxwell

We could not understand that there was anything about a bird that could not be built on a larger scale. - Orville Wright

I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early worm. - Franklin D Roosevelt

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Mosquito: 1. A small insect designed by God to make us think better of flies; 2. The state bird of New Jersey. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Success is full of promise till a man gets it; and then it is a last year's nest from which the birds have flown. - Henry Ward Beecher

I love lean meats like chicken, turkey. I'm obsessed with sushi and fish in general. I eat a lot of veggies and hummus. - Shawn Johnson

A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. - James Dent

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. - Steven Wright

The difference between involvement and commitment is like an eggs and ham breakfast: the chicken was involved, the pig was committed. - Unknown

The English eat all sorts of birds - pigeons, ducks, sparrows - but if you tell them you eat puffin, you might as well come from Mars. - Bjork

If I were a flower,
humming bird would be my favourite bee
And If I were blind,
the light of darkness I'd love to see - Munia Khan

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton

Be like the bird that, passing on her flight awhile on boughs too slight, feels them give way beneath her, and yet sings, knowing that she hath wings. - Victor Hugo


Open Drive Through

Secret Revealed

Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl