Joe-ks.com
#1 humor site on the 'net
Florida Map
Where tourists go - and don't go - in Florida
You know you're a Floridian if...
Socks are only for bowling.
You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.
A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
Your winter coat is made of denim.
You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
Many of your friends are over 65.
Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.
You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
You dread love bug season.
You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma... Irene... Cheryl... Rita... Mary... Allison
You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.
You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
'Down South' means Key West.
Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to Church before.
You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
You've hosted a hurricane party.
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Thonotosassa and Micanopy.
You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.
You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years Day.
You recognize Miami-Dade as 'Northern Cuba.'
Socks are only for bowling.
You never use an umbrella because the rain will be over in five minutes.
A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store, but everything to do with shade.
Your winter coat is made of denim.
You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites.
Many of your friends are over 65.
Anything under 70 degrees is chilly.
You've driven through Yeehaw Junction.
You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix.
You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn't worth waking up for.
You dread love bug season.
You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren't Hurricane Charley or Hurricane Frances. You know them as Andrew, Charley, Frances, Ivan, Jeanne & Wilma... Irene... Cheryl... Rita... Mary... Allison
You know what a snowbird is and when they'll leave.
You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.
'Down South' means Key West.
Flip-flops are everyday wear. Shoes are for business meetings and church, but you HAVE worn flip flops to Church before.
You have a drawer full of bathing suits, and one sweatshirt.
You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.
A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.
You know the four seasons really are: Hurricane season, love bug season, tourist season and summer.
You've hosted a hurricane party.
You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee, Withlacoochee, Thonotosassa and Micanopy.
You understand why it's better to have a friend with a boat, than have a boat yourself.
You were 25 when you first met someone who couldn't swim.
You've worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas and New Years Day.
You recognize Miami-Dade as 'Northern Cuba.'
Travel Folder: A trip teaser - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Wander often
Wonder always - Unknown
Travel, of course, narrows the mind. - Malcolm Muggeridge
There's no map to human behaviour. - Bjork
The longest journey is the journey inward. - Dag Hammarskjold
People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi
The world map looks smaller than ever before. - Max Azria
Monopoly is business at the end of its journey. - Henry Demarest Lloyd
Many will travel and knowledge will be increased. - Francis Bacon
There is only one journey: going inside yourself. - Rainer M Rilke
Without music, life is a journey through a desert. - Pat Conroy
Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To stay on the map you've got to keep showing up. - Peter Gallagher
Between here and Florida, ya got your original 48 states. - Archie Bunker
I'm in the turtle's race. My journey is a marathon. - Omari Hardwick
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page. - St. Augustine
He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. - Dutch Proverb
I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over it. - Steven Wright
True navigation begins in the human heart. It's the most important map of all. - Elizabeth K Lindsey
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck
An opening statement is like a guide or a road map. It's a very delicate thing. - Johnnie Cochran
I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti
We're all pilgrims on the same journey, but some pilgrims have better road maps. - Nelson DeMille
I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart
Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of poverty are fought to map change. - Muhammad Ali
Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life. - Les Brown
While armchair travelers dream of going places, traveling armchairs dream of staying put. - Anne Tyler
There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep
Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe. - Anatole France
I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary
Press forward. Do not stop, do not linger in your journey, but strive for the mark set before you. - George Whitefield
If all difficulties were known at the onset of a long journey, most of us would never start out at all. - Dan Rather
There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. - Mark Twain
No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang
For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin
Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land. - G K Chesterton
When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable. - Clifton Fadiman
Integrity will take a leader farther than any other quality. If you would travel far and do much as a leader, never compromise your integrity. - John C Maxwell
Wander often
Wonder always - Unknown
Travel, of course, narrows the mind. - Malcolm Muggeridge
There's no map to human behaviour. - Bjork
The longest journey is the journey inward. - Dag Hammarskjold
People will travel anywhere for good food. - Rene Redzepi
The world map looks smaller than ever before. - Max Azria
Monopoly is business at the end of its journey. - Henry Demarest Lloyd
Many will travel and knowledge will be increased. - Francis Bacon
There is only one journey: going inside yourself. - Rainer M Rilke
Without music, life is a journey through a desert. - Pat Conroy
Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
To stay on the map you've got to keep showing up. - Peter Gallagher
Between here and Florida, ya got your original 48 states. - Archie Bunker
I'm in the turtle's race. My journey is a marathon. - Omari Hardwick
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page. - St. Augustine
He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. - Dutch Proverb
I have an existential map; it has "you are here" written all over it. - Steven Wright
True navigation begins in the human heart. It's the most important map of all. - Elizabeth K Lindsey
A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck
An opening statement is like a guide or a road map. It's a very delicate thing. - Johnnie Cochran
I wear a fun sock when I travel to give the security staff a well-deserved chuckle. - Chelsea Peretti
We're all pilgrims on the same journey, but some pilgrims have better road maps. - Nelson DeMille
I like the map feature on the iPhone that tells me where I am, because I travel a lot. - Gary Shteyngart
Wars of nations are fought to change maps. But wars of poverty are fought to map change. - Muhammad Ali
Your goals are the road maps that guide you and show you what is possible for your life. - Les Brown
While armchair travelers dream of going places, traveling armchairs dream of staying put. - Anne Tyler
There's no road map on how to raise a family: it's always an enormous negotiation. - Meryl Streep
Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe. - Anatole France
I think every entrepreneur in Canada owes the next generation a road map of how to do it again. - Kevin O'Leary
Press forward. Do not stop, do not linger in your journey, but strive for the mark set before you. - George Whitefield
If all difficulties were known at the onset of a long journey, most of us would never start out at all. - Dan Rather
There ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them. - Mark Twain
No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. - Lin Yutang
For my part, I travel not to go anywhere, but to go. I travel for travel's sake. The great affair is to move. - Robert Louis Stevenson
The minute there's a map, there is no art. Paint by numbers is not art. Paint by numbers is a mechanical activity. - Seth Godin
Fishing Trip: Journey undertaken by one or more anglers to a place where no one can remember when it has rained so much - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
The whole object of travel is not to set foot on foreign land; it is at last to set foot on one's own country as a foreign land. - G K Chesterton
When you travel, remember that a foreign country is not designed to make you comfortable. It is designed to make its own people comfortable. - Clifton Fadiman
Integrity will take a leader farther than any other quality. If you would travel far and do much as a leader, never compromise your integrity. - John C Maxwell
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