#1 humor site on the 'net

Frozen Fish Meal

So close but yet so hard!

Frozen Fish Meal thanks to Keith Blake

QuotaBills
Unflappable: A flightless bird - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The early bird catches the worm. - English Proverb

I want to paint the way a bird sings. - Claude Monet

A gun gives you the body, not the bird. - Henry David Thoreau

Fish and visitors stink after three days. - Benjamin Franklin

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise. - Lewis Carroll

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

I have laid aside business, and gone a'fishing. - Izaak Walton

One can think of life after the fish is in the canoe. - Hawaii Proverb

Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. - Salvador Dali

The early bird catches the worm, eats more, and dies sooner. - Czech Proverb

If one cannot catch the bird of paradise, better take a wet hen. - Nikita Krushchev

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Ideal Summer Resort: A place where fish bite and mosquitoes don't - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A lawyer is an odd sort of fish, first rotten, then green, then ripe. - Robert Christy

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

A fishing rod is a stick with a hook at one end and a fool at the other. - Samuel Johnson

What you need is somebody new - there's more than 1 fish in the woodpile. - Archie Bunker

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. - Lanston Hughes

I went fishing with Rod Ewert. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish. - Steven Wright

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will. - Charlotte Bronte

My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There's a dead bird." He looked up. - Phyllis Diller

I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? - Carre Otis

A bird that you set free may be caught again, but a word that escapes your lips will not return. - Jewish Proverb

Learn to adapt like a bird. We can only dream of flying, but the bird has already grown her wings. - Debasish Mridha

The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow. - Jim Hightower

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Just as the bird sings or the butterfly soars, because it is his natural characteristic, so the artist works. - Alma Gluck

I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tuna-fish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock. - Barbara Harrison

Luck affects everything; let your hook always be cast. In the stream where you least expect it, there will be fish. - Ovid

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Fish who are caught and released are like the aquatic equivalent of people who claim to have been abducted by aliens. - Bill Murray

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. - Mark Twain

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. - Dave Barry

You are Mr. Owl. I am Ms. Hummingbird. We may come from different species but as long as you're a bird, I'm a bird too. - Glad Munaiseche

Unsporting: Any fishing technique that has as its chief object the capture of fish rather than the accumulation of fishing equipment - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl. - Ernest Hemingway

Bamboo: Eye-pleasing, but extremely expensive and difficult-to-maintain type of rod, used primarily by anglers who fish for compliments. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Fishing Journal: An imaginative work of sub-literature in which the angler records the weight, length, and species of fish he didn't catch - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Like a prisoner awaiting his release, like a schoolboy when the end of term is near, like a migrant bird ready to fly south... I long to be gone. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Fat Twin Sisters

Breathe in the Ocean

Tel Aviv Luxury Penthouse

Caffeine Boosters

Head Path

Proper English

Reese Witherspoon

Phones At Six

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Whiskey Lurks Good

Tetris Couch

Canadian Alphabet

Love Rocks

Benadryl Cumquat

In It For The Long Haul

Ready Soon

Mud Flops

Been Lapped

How To Use The New 1940 Dial Telephone

Garmin Drive

Redneck Bucket List

Rotating Illusion - Pink Eye Trick

Boneless Bananas