#1 humor site on the 'net

Genuine Fake Watches

When only the best will do for tourists

Genuine Fake Watches thanks to Rita Ewert

'Watch Out' when you shop in Ephesus

QuotaBills
Shopping is my cardio. - Carrie Bradshaw

The expensive is cheap. - Arabic Saying

Hot Time: A clock in an oven - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Window Shopping: Eye browsing - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

What are imitation rhinestones? - Steven Wright

Anything that consoles is fake. - Iris Murdoch

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere. - Jim Farley

That's a genuine fac-same-ully. - Archie Bunker

Eyebrows: What I do when I go shopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. - Noel Coward

Sympathy is a crutch. Never fake a limp. - Unknown

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. - Oscar Wilde

When everything gets answered, it's fake. - Sean Penn

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Tradition: A clock which tells what time it was. - Elbert Hubbard

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

To do just the opposite is also a form of imitation. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. - Drake Edwards

I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches. - Steven Wright

Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength. - Eric Hoffer

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't watch the clock, do what it does. Keep going. - Sam Levenson

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

Men often applaud an imitation, and hiss the real thing. - Aesop

Back Four Seconds: What a clock does when it's hungry - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on. - Alice Miller

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. - Dr. Joyce Brothers

Of all ills that one endures, hope is a cheap and universal cure. - Abraham Cowley

You can't fake quality any more than you can fake a good meal. - William S. Burroughs

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people. - Warren Buffett

It's a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock. - David Coleman

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns

Real happiness is cheap enough, yet how dearly we pay for its counterfeit. - Hosea Ballou

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus. - Martin Luther King

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. - Henny Youngman

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

I shall make electricity so cheap that only the rich can afford to burn candles. - Thomas Edison

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

Personal judgments are like watches; none go just the same, yet each believes his own. - Alexander Pope

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Genuine feelings cannot be produced, nor can they be eradicated. The body sticks to the facts. - Alice Miller

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

I don't have an alarm clock. If someone needs to wake me up, then I have my BlackBerry next to me. - Mark Zuckerberg

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

I refuse to believe in three things: cash, clock, and calendar. You should never be enslaved by these three. - Sharad Sagar

Indians are so dedicated to being so cheap for so long, that Indian people actually created the number zero. - Russell Peters

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. - Unknown

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

Middle age is when you're faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o'clock. - Ronald Reagan

One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mouse trap you set the night before. - Kin Hubbard

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Fall: The season when your wife buys new winter clothes so she will have something to wear when she goes out shopping for spring outfits - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When we associate with the virtuous we form ourselves in imitation of their virtues, or at least lose, every day, something of our faults. - Agapet

Two important things are to have a genuine interest in people and to be kind to them. Kindness, I've discovered, is everything in life. - Isaac Bashevis Singer


Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey

Winter Tree

WrenchWare

Dog Sled

Winter Ready

Bread Dress

Bear With Me

Open-air schools in The Netherlands

Ghost Food

Toothpaste Holder

Two Face

Redneck Porch Hunter

Jeep Words

Elton or Eltoff?

Finger Physio

Fish Eye Lens

Nice Try, China

Urgent World War I Message

Moostake