Genuine Fake Watches

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

What are imitation rhinestones? - Steven Wright

Anything that consoles is fake. - Iris Murdoch

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere. - Jim Farley

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

That's a genuine fac-same-ully. - Archie Bunker

Genuine 100% chromonometer (a watch) - Archie Bunker

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is. - Noel Coward

Recipe for a happy husband: Fake and Bake. - Unknown

The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome. - Unknown

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling. - Oscar Wilde

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

How can I tell if humility is genuine or fake? - David J. Bobb

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. - Warren Buffet

Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping. - Oscar Wilde

Even a clock that does not work is right twice a day. - Polish Proverb

I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches. - Steven Wright

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Rudeness if the weak man's imitation of strength. - Eric Hoffer

Illusory joy is often worth more than genuine sorrow. - Rene Descartes

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill. - Henny Youngman

Men often applaud an imitation, and hiss the real thing. - Aesop

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap. - Dolly Parton

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. - Dr. Joyce Brothers

A good thing sells itself; a bad thing advertises itself for sale. - African Saying

It's a battle with himself and with the ticking fingers of the clock. - David Coleman

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - George Burns

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London. - Bette Midler

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual. - Samuel Smiles

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Mexico: where life is cheap, death is rich, and the buzzards are never unhappy. - Edward Abbey

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

Personal judgments are like watches; none go just the same, yet each believes his own. - Alexander Pope

A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never quite sure. - Lee Segall

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. - Paulo Coelho

He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is. - Lou Duva

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement. - Florida Scott-Maxwell

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. - Groucho Marx

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

No person can be a great leader unless he takes genuine joy in the successes of those under him. - W.A. Nance

I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It's not for sale." - Steven Wright

The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. - William Morris

I like to put on a wig or a fake mustache and do something silly with friends, do a little dance. - Tom Lenk

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

Everything is for sale in Hollywood; the fairy tale, the costume, the pumpkin, the footman and the mice. - Amanda Eliasch

I refuse to believe in three things: cash, clock, and calendar. You should never be enslaved by these three. - Sharad Sagar

You know what they say in Hollywood - the most important thing is being sincere, even if you have to fake it. - Cesar Romero

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

Give me a Murphy bed, a Lazy Susan, a grandfather clock and a bulldog, and I will show you the meaning of comedy. - Jonathan Goldstein

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween. - Douglas Coupland

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'. - Unknown

You're the guy that'll be sneaking out of your bedroom at three o'clock in the morning to look at your bike. - Paul Teutul

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

When one may pay out over two million dollars to presidential and Congressional campaigns, the U.S. government is virtually up for sale. - John W. Gardner

Two important things are to have a genuine interest in people and to be kind to them. Kindness, I've discovered, is everything in life. - Isaac Bashevis Singer

The fruits of philosophy are the important thing, not the philosophy itself. When we ask the time, we don't want to know how watches are made. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg