#1 humor site on the 'net

Grandma Not Welcome

Finding peace and quiet from family noise

Grandma Not Welcome thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Grammatical Error: When Grandma screws up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

Acting is just a way of making a living; the family is life. - Denzel Washington

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

If a window of opportunity appears, don't pull down the shade. - Tom Peters

To the world you are a mother, but to your family you are the world. - Unknown

Too much homework can cause stress, depression and even lower grades. - Unknown

Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head. - Martin Mull

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

For our immediate family and relatives, Canada was a land of opportunity. - Sidney Altman

A diamond is just a piece of coal that handles stress exceptionally well. - Unknown

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

Live so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. - Will Rogers

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one. - Hans Selye

Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. - Lillian Carter

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

I stuck my head out the window this morning and spring kissed my bang in the face. - Langston Hughes

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

Aging is the extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Stop the words now. Open the window in the center of your chest and let the spirits fly in and out. - Rumi

I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie. - Jimmy Fallon

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've come to learn that the best time to debate family members is when they have good in their mouths. - Kenneth Cole

The larger office, the corner space, the extra window are the teddy bears and tricycles of adult office life. - Willard Gaylin

Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds. - John P Barlow

The roots of the problems we face in the world, in our national life, and in our family and personal lives are spiritual. - Stephen Covey

Animals are not our selfie props. If there's any risk that your photo is going to hurt or stress an animal, it's not worth it. - Angela Henderson

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

The average family spends 30 hours in front of a television, and they say they don't have the time to have a balanced, integrated life. - Stephen Covey

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

With the steady disintegration of the family in modern society over the last century, the role of the school in bridging the gap has become vital. - Stephen Covey

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women, of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career. Well, it has not been easy. - Marie Curie

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Yoga Pants

Baby Illusion

Mother Wrench's Gripping Story

Sechelt Sunrays

Russian BiteLifter

Propane Diving

Scuba Diving Sucks

Louisiana Turtle Dogs

Special Offer

Parking Squeeze

Music Note Chairlift

Gangsta

Reformed Buddhists

Redneck Mirror

Buddha Is Watching You

Antler Switch Plate

Together Since

Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Indiana Bones

Raxe

Halloween Horse

Holding His Own Portraits

Kung Fu Driver

Ford Quadricycle