Hardworking Wife

Fame is the thirst of youth. - Lord Byron

Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. - Socrates

A deaf husband and a blind wife make the best couple. - French Proverb

The art of communication is the language of leadership. - James Humes

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. - Rodney Dangerfield

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

Behind every successful man is a woman.
Behind her is his wife. - Groucho Marx

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Sigmund Freud

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

When your wife asks what's on TV, dust is not the right answer. - Unknown

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Most women are afraid of clowns, but somehow end up still dating one. - Unknown

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. - Peter F Drucker

My best friend ran away with my wife. And let me tell you, I really miss him. - Henny Youngman

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic. - Drew Barrymore

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. - Oscar Wilde

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one. - Joan Baez

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife. - Ilie Nastase

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

I've never sought success in order to get fame and money; it's the talent and the passion that count in success. - Ingrid Bergman

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon