Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is the sunset of love. - French Proverb

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Free trade is not a principle; it is an expedient. - Benjamin Disraeli

I always say shopping is cheaper than a psychiatrist. - Tammy Faye Bakker

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

Hawaiian Punch: What you get when you mouth off to a Polynesian - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

There is nothing, nothing, more sad than a surfer who used to surf. - Unknown

I met my wife on a ferry boat, and when we landed she gave me the slip. - Groucho Marx

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her. - Red Skelton

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver, so I could drink more and care less. - Tina Fey

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

I live by my own rules (reviewed, revised, and approved by my wife), but still my own. - Si Robertson

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

I shall be an autocrat, that's my trade; and the good Lord will forgive me, that's his. - Catherine the Great

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

A wise man will never tell his wife to keep quiet. He will tell her she looks beautiful with her mouth closed. - Unknown

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland