Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

My wife gives good headache. - Rodney Dangerfield

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

I wouldn't trade you for all the cookies in the world. - Cookie Monster

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

If there was no such thing as barrels I probably wouldn't even surf. - Clay Marzo

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. - Bo Derek

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Shopping: The fine art of acquiring things you don't need with money you don't have. - Unknown

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. - Rodney Dangerfield

I shall be an autocrat, that's my trade; and the good Lord will forgive me, that's his. - Catherine the Great

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf