Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Sales Talk: Trade wind - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

Second Marriage: The triumph of hope over experience. - Samuel Johnson

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

The antiques my wife buys at auctions are keeping me baroque. - Peter De Vries

A husband's conjungal and a wife's convivial obligation - Archie Bunker

One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife. - Groucho Marx

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside. - Frank Pittman

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you treat your wife like a thoroughbred, you'll never end up with a nag. - Zig Ziglar

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee. - Anne Bradstreet

I wish I could trade my heart for another liver, so I could drink more and care less. - Tina Fey

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Chutzpapa: A father who wakes his wife at 4 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife. - Milton Berle

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

I'm amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch, yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets. - John Kinnear

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. - Helen Rowland