Hawaiian Surfboard Trade

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

Malaria: Several shopping centers close to each other - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. - John Barrymore

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

A man's home is his castle, and his wife is the janitor. - Lucille Kallen

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her. - Marcelene Cox

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Hawaiian Punch: What you get when you mouth off to a Polynesian - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Keep thy eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward. - Thomas Fuller

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign. - Woody Allen

The secrets of success are a good wife and a steady job. My wife told me. - Howard Nemerov

My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she's coming with me. - Jon Bon Jovi

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

When my wife asked me to start a garden the first thing I dug up was an excuse. - Henny Youngman

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. - Irish Proverb

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out. - Joey Adams

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

I shall be an autocrat, that's my trade; and the good Lord will forgive me, that's his. - Catherine the Great

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but from now on, the marriage that sustains your love. - Dietrich Bonhoeffer

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side. - Zig Ziglar

The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

One of the greatest things about the sport of surfing is that you need only three things: your body, a surfboard, and a wave. - Naima Green

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

One disadvantage of being a hog is that at any moment some blundering fool may try to make a silk purse out of your wife's ear. - J.B. Morton

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx