Holiday Fun

No one vinces me, baby - Michael Grant

Happiness is a warm puppy. - Charles Schulz

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

A bambiraptor is a savage baby dear. - Alan Davies

To err is human, for forgive, canine. - Unknown

Inspiration is remembering the future. - Unknown

Creativity is intelligence having fun. - Albert Einstein

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Be great. You never know who you're inspiring. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons. - Will Rogers

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If you're not having fun, you're doing something wrong. - Groucho Marx

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

I have nothing against dogs. I just hate rugs that go squish-squish. - Phyllis Diller

As a kid, I got three meals a day. Oatmeal, miss-a-meal and no meal. - Mr. T

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors. - Unknown

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Love puts the fun in together, the sad in apart, and the joy in a heart. - Unknown

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

It's great to arrive, but the trip's most always most of the fun. - Malcolm Forbes

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. - Rita Rudner

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

It's fun to have a partner who understands your life and lets you be you. - Kim Kardashian

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather

To love what you do and feel that it matters - how could anything be more fun. - Katharine Graham

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages. - Mark Twain

Raising boys is like raising puppies. One must take them for a walk every few hours. - Jody Defries

Make it simple. Make it memorable. Make it inviting to look at. Make it fun to read. - Leo Burnett

I am who I am: an Irish Catholic kid, working class from Long Island. And I made it big. - Bill O'Reilly

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Having kids is the ultimate job in life. I want to be most successful at being a good father. - Nick Lachey

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

What if the kid you bullied at school, grew up, and turned out to be the only surgeon who could save your life? - Lynette Mather

The further you get away from yourself, the more challenging it is. Not to be in your comfort zone is great fun. - Benedict Cumberbatch

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

Tennis was never work for me, tennis was fun. And the tougher the battle and the longer the match, the more fun I had. - Jimmy Connors

There's a limit to how many times you can read how great you are and what an inspiration you are, but I'm not there yet. - Randy Pausch

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Having kids - the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings - is the biggest job anyone can embark on. - Maria Shriver

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Don't get older just to get wiser. If you get older, you will be wiser, I believe that - if you dare. But get older because it's fun! - Maya Angelou

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Conundrum: A fun word to repeat over and over again when no one's listening; actual meaning is as puzzling as the need to chant the word. - Richelle E. Goodrich

When I know that, if I have no inspiration whatsoever, when I come and I just feel empty, I have nothing, I know that I can still play the scene. - Christopher Walken

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah