#1 humor site on the 'net

Items Of Value

Words of car theft encouragement

Items Of Value thanks to Mike King

Leave anything behind in your car?

QuotaBills
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Police do not belong in war zones. - Daniel K Moran

Those who trade liberty for security have neither. - John Adams

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The monarchical institution in England is immensely valuable. - Malcolm Muggeridge

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

When a police officer tells you to stay in the car, you stay in the car. - Reese Witherspoon

Contentment, like a flawless diamond, is a valuable and scarce commodity. - Dennis Rainey

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

He prefers the security of known misery to the misery of unfamiliar insecurity. - Sheldon B. Kopp

Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

Real joy seems to me almost as unlike security or prosperity as it is unlike agony. - C S Lewis

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

Integrity is the most valuable and respected quality of leadership. Always keep your word. - Brian Tracy

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

Golden Age: When the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Teaching a child not to step on a caterpillar is as valuable to the child as it is to the caterpillar. - Bradley Miller

Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thin in art: the thing you cannot explain. - Georges Braque

The only security men can have for their political liberty, consists in keeping their money in their own pockets. - Lysander Spooner

If you can't even acknowledge that you have to fix social security, that's not a very good starting point. - Rob Portman

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. - Billy Graham

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I'm being kidnapped by a comforter, sheet and pillow. No need to call the police for I will be released by morning. - Unknown

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My best security is within the munitions of an immutable Jehovah, where His unalterable promises stand like giant walls of rock. - Charles H Spurgeon

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

Social Security's not the hard one to solve. Medicare, that is the gorilla in the room, and you've got to put all of it on the table. - Joe Biden

The trials in our lives are valuable lessons and those lessons can be used to avoid similar situations in the future or even help someone else. - Neviesh Perry

When I studied graphic design, I learned a valuable lesson: There's no perfect answer to the puzzle, and creativity is a renewable resource. - Biz Stone


Wait For My Human

China Road Load

Burger King Street

Taking The Bait

Redneck Tailgate

Horse Model

What Has America Become?

Billionaire Thoughts

New Style Ribs

Beware Of Sign

Into Fitness - Part I

Puddle Bath

Olympic Hurdle Joe

Katoomba Railway

The Importance Of Education

New Events for Summer Olympics

Don't Want Your Child To Text And Drive?

Redneck Porch Lights

Party Frog

Cloud Computing

Mobile Phones

Hair Safety

Ice Cream Clouds

Software Cake